


black is a perfectly valid color

by wintershelter



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: F/F, Group chat, M/M, Social Media, aline makes an appearance in chapter 4, i love all these group chat fics so here's my try at it, it's a gay mess honestly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2018-12-22 07:25:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 14,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11962557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintershelter/pseuds/wintershelter
Summary: claryfray: did u just ?????? make a joke ????????raphaelsantiago: tell no oneclaryfray: too late, i've already immortalized this moment in a screenshotA group chat shadowhunters fic.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i literally can't get enough of the group chat fics and y'all inspired me to try my hand at being funny too. enjoy :)

**claryfray:** GUYS alec and i had the most harrowing experience at the mall today

 **aleclightwood:** it was truly awful

 **izzylightwood:** did u try and force alec try on some other color than black

 **aleclightwood:** no

 **claryfray:** nah i know a lost cause when i see one

 **jacewayland:** haha

 **aleclightwood:** fuck off jace, black is a perfectly valid color

 **izzylightwood:** chill out u two, i wanna know what happened

 **claryfray:** right... so,, it had to do with the straights™

 **izzylightwood:** gasp

 **maiaroberts:** gay gasp

 **magnusbane:** bi gasp

 **simonlewis:** pan gasp

 **jacewayland:** did u two get mistaken for a couple again?

 **claryfray** : ...wow way to ruin the build up

 **claryfray:** but yeah

 **izzylightwood:** poor bby :(

 **claryfray:** this happens to us EVERYTIME

 **aleclightwood:** ikr i'm a good person i don't deserve to be mistaken as straight

 **claryfray:** and u think i do?????

 **claryfray:** also ur not a good person

 **aleclightwood:** i hope u fall in a ditch

 **claryfray:** precisely my point

 **aleclightwood:** u wanna fight BRING IT FRAY

 **claryfray:** u wouldn't fight me

 **aleclightwood:** yes i would

 **magnusbane:** alec just walked out the door now

 **claryfray:** ok but fair warning, i have like 20 knives on me

 **izzylightwood:** it's true

 **magnusbane:** and he just walked back in

 **maiaroberts:** WTF??????

 **simonlewis:** that sounds wildly impractical

 **jacewayland:** why do u need that many knives??????

 **claryfray:** BECAUSE I LOVE THEM OK

 **claryfray:** also it's very practical,, i'm a shadowhunter

 **izzylightwood:** it goes far beyond that babe, ur entire closest is filled with blades

 **claryfray:** ,,so

 **izzylightwood:** one time we were making out and a ninja star fell out of ur bra

 **maiaroberts:** how do u even fit a ninja star in ur bra??????????????

 **claryfray:** i'll show u sometime

 **lydiabranwell:** no

 **jacewayland:** i love how lydia was absolutely dead on the chat until just now

 **lydiabranwell:** i don't want clary near my gf's boobs

 **claryfray:** i meant it in only the professional sense, my heart belongs to izzy

 **izzylightwood:** awww, i love u

 **claryfray:** i love u too

 **aleclightwood:** well, i love magnus

 **magnusbane:** and i love u alexander

 **izzylightwood:** u both are so soft

 **aleclightwood:** u literally just told clary u loved her

 **izzylightwood:** yeah, cause i do

 **claryfray:** i'm coming over to cuddle u now

 **izzylightwood:** :)))

 **jacewayland:** ur all soft

 **izzylightwood:** yeah and ur a battle hardened warrior who literally wouldn't let go of simon for like a week after we rescued him from the seelie queen

 **aleclightwood:** #exposed

 **jacewayland:** i had to keep an eye on him somehow, he's been kidnapped like 50 times since we've met

 **simonlewis:** hey it's not like i ask to be kidnapped every other week

 **jacewayland:** i know bby

 **aleclightwood:** big old softie

 **jacewayland:** don't even start alec. u literally tell magnus u love him every five minutes

 **claryfray:** that's true

 **aleclightwood:** knives or not, don't think i won't still fight u fray, i will

 **izzylightwood:** i'm with clary on this one bro

 **aleclightwood:** et tu izzy

 **izzylightwood:** u made jace acting head of the institute for like a month just so u could go on vacation to spend time with magnus after ur break up

 **magnusbane:** it wasn't a break up

 **aleclightwood:** it was just a fight

 **maiaroberts:** i love how you both responded at the exact same time

 **claryfray:** u both are too cute

 **claryfray:** izzy, why can't we be as cute as them

 **izzylightwood:** because we're in a love triangle that involves me you and your knives

 **simonlewis:** me you and your knives is gonna be the name of my next song

 **maiaroberts:** speaking of, when is ur next gig

 **simonlewis:** next friday, ur all coming right?

 **claryfray:** HELL YEAH

 **jacewayland:** yeh

 **magnusbane:** yes

 **lydiabranwell:** yes

 **raphaelsantiago:** no

 **aleclightwood:** HAHA

 **simonlewis:** wait, who added raphael to the gc

 **magnusbane:** i did

 **aleclightwood:** have i mentioned how much i love u lately

 **magnusbane:** only a little bit

 **magnusbane:** don't u dare finish typing jace

 **jacewayland:** u don't even know what i was gonna say

 **magnusbane:** u were gonna call alec soft again

 **jacewayland:** ...

 **jacewayland:** ur right, i was

 **aleclightwood:** hey where'd izzy go

 **claryfray:** she fell asleep on my boobs

 **claryfray:** image attached

 **maiaroberts:** awwww that's sweet

 **simonlewis:** #relationshipgoals

 **simonlewis:** jace where are u

 **jacewayland:** give me five minutes. i just got done with patrol

 **claryfray:** ur texting on patrol??? omg i'm telling the head of the institute

 **claryfray:** alec jace is slacking off again

 **claryfray:** ,,, ok now where'd alec go

 **jacewayland:** magnus and him are probably boning

 **claryfray:** i, a known lesbian, did not deserve that visual

 **raphaelsantiago:** i, a known asexual, did not deserve that visual

 **claryfray:** .

 **jacewayland:** ..

 **simonlewis:** ...

 **maiaroberts:** ....

 **claryfray:** did u just ?????? make a joke ????????

 **raphaelsantiago:** tell no one

 **claryfray:** i've already immortalized this moment in a screenshot

 **raphaelsantiago:** i hate you all

 **simonlewis:** sticks and stones santiago

 **raphaelsantiago:** i'm gonna stake you with a stick

 **jacewayland:** NO UR NOT

 **simonlewis:** my hero

 **claryfray:** d'awww

 **claryfray:** izzy's waking up gtg

 **simonlewis:** me too, jace is here

 **raphaelsantiago:** ur all pathetic

 **claryfray:** ur just jealous

 **raphaelsantiago:** no i'm really not

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aleclightwood: at least i'm not afraid of ducks
> 
> jacewayland: THAT IS A COMPLETELY RATIONAL FEAR DUCKS ARE TERRIFYING

**magnusbane:** ok, i have a question for u all

**claryfray:** shoot

**magnusbane:** why did no one tell me alec was afraid of spiders

**simonlewis:** wat

**claryfray:** WHAT ?????? I DIDNT KNOW THIS EITHER OMG

**izzylightwood:** didn't come up, i guess

**maiaroberts:** what happened this time

**magnusbane:** i came back to the loft to find alec in the corner brandishing his seraph blade at this tiny spider

**aleclightwood:** IT WAS NOT TINY MAGNUS IT WAS HUGE

**claryfray:** thats what she said

**magnusbane:** it was the size of a penny dear

**jacewayland:** haha

**aleclightwood:** at least i'm not afraid of ducks

**jacewayland:** THAT IS A COMPLETELY RATIONAL FEAR DUCKS ARE TERRIFYING

**aleclightwood:** u literally left me in central park mid-patrol because there were a bunch of ducks there

**jacewayland:** ,, ok not my finest moment

**jacewayland:** but there were DUCKS

**simonlewis:** i'd slay all the ducks for u

**jacewayland:** awwww, thanks babe

**claryfray:** A;SDLFKJDS;;LAKSDFJ

**aleclightwood:** did clary just have a seizure

**izzylightwood:** ummmm kind of ???? she's on the ground crying

**jacewayland:** about what

**izzylightwood:** about how simon is ur prince charming for slaying all the ducks for u like some kinda fairytale

**jacewayland:** tell clary to get wasted

**simonlewis:** HEY

**izzylightwood:** hey that's my gf ur talking about

**jacewayland:** she is BULLYING ME

**jacewayland:** i will not stand for this

**aleclightwood:** i am thoroughly enjoying this

**jacewayland:** u can't betray me like this alec

**jacewayland:** ur my parabatai

**aleclightwood:** u literally make fun of me everyday on this damn chat

**jacewayland** has removed  **aleclightwood** from the group chat

**maiaroberts:** well that escalated quickly

**izzylightwood:** u know that's not gonna last long

**magnusbane** has added  **aleclightwood** to the group chat

**aleclightwood:** what the actual fuck jace

**izzylightwood:** that was faster than i thought u'd be back

**magnusbane:** i'm literally sitting next to alexander

**magnusbane:** also, that was rude jace

**claryfray:** ok i'm back

**claryfray:** wow jace, i think ur the real bully here

**aleclightwood:** seconded

**magnusbane:** ^^

**jacewayland:** i did nothing wrong

**claryfray:** spoken like a straight white male

**jacewayland:** clary...  


**jacewayland:** pls do not ever call me straight again

**claryfray:** ur right that was uncalled for, i'm sorry

**jacewayland:** apology accepted

**jacewayland:** also where tf r u

**claryfray:** i'm in my room with simon and izzy ??????? why ???????

**jacewayland:** because ??????? we're supposed to spar rn

**claryfray:** oh shit, give me a minute

**jacewayland:** u forgot? for shame

**izzylightwood:** i could bring up all the times u were late to lessons if u want

**jacewayland:** i'm shaking in my boots

**izzylightwood:** i'm literally in the training room and ready to go a round

**aleclightwood:** kick his ass izzy

**jacewayland:** wtf dude

**aleclightwood:** u literally removed me from the gc like five minutes ago

**jacewayland:** that's fair

**izzylightwood:** clary's here

**izzylightwood:** do u wanna come spar too alec

**magnusbane:** yeah we're coming

**izzylightwood:** i love how u just answered for him

**claryfray:** alec is #whipped and will do anything magnus says

**aleclightwood:** ur gonna get whipped on the training floor fray

**claryfray:** i'd like to see u try

**magnusbane:** me too, i love seeing alec get all hot and sweaty

**maiaroberts:** GOOD LORD

**simonlewis:** i'm coming too... for moral support

**jacewayland:** don't lie, u just wanna see me shirtless

**simonlewis:** ...that's not... an inaccurate statement

**maiaroberts:** BUSTED

 **simonlewis:** but i'm also coming to cheer u on

 **magnusbane:** come on sherwin, they've started sparring already

 **simonlewis:** my name is simon

 **magnusbane:** right. wanna come join the party too maia

 **maiaroberts:** nah that's ok, lydia and i are going to lunch in a bit

 **simonlewis:** awww, have fun

 **magnusbane:** give her my best

 **maiaroberts:** i will. u two have fun with ur sparring boyfriends

 **magnusbane:** shane and i will

 **simonlewis:** i know u know my name. it's written in the gc

 **magnusbane:** sure, seth

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> claryfray: hang on i got a vid off the security cams of it
> 
> jacewayland: that is blatant abuse of the institute's technology
> 
> aleclightwood: ur objection is noted but is ultimately overruled by head of the institute
> 
> jacewayland: sometimes i regret putting u in charge

**jacewayland:** WHO CHANGED MY BACKGROUND TO DUCKS AND SEARCH ENGINE TO DUCKDUCKGO

 **maiaroberts:** lol what

 **aleclightwood:** what's duckduckgo

 **jacewayland:** IT'S A SEARCH ENGINE THAT HAS DUCKS

 **izzylightwood:** what's the point of that

 **jacewayland:** idk i didn't look long enough to find out

 **claryfray:** yeah he literally screamed and threw his phone across the training room floor

 **claryfray:** hang on i got a vid off the security cams of it

 **jacewayland:** that is blatant abuse of the institute's technology

 **aleclightwood:** ur objection is noted but is ultimately overruled by head of the institute

 **jacewayland:** sometimes i regret putting u in charge

 **claryfray:** FOUND IT

 **claryfray:** video attached

 **izzylightwood:** OMG

 **maiaroberts:** i'm saving this because of reasons

 **aleclightwood:** HAHA

 **jacewayland:** u all are the WORST

 **jacewayland:** i also have a sneaking suspicion it was alec

 **aleclightwood:** i've got better things to do than mess with ur phone

 **magnusbane:** i'm things ;)

 **claryfray:** get a room u two

 **magnusbane:** we did

 **aleclightwood:** in cape town

 **claryfray:** awww, are u on a date

 **aleclightwood:** yes, so stop bothering us

 **jacewayland:** can we focus on the problem at hand

 **simonlewis:** wait what's the problem

 **claryfray:** someone pranked jace and we're trying figure out who he pissed off

 **simonlewis:** oh

 **jacewayland:** who i pissed off ????? r u seriously victim blaming me

 **claryfray:** no but u def pissed someone off

 **jacewayland:** i did no such thing. this was an unprovoked attack

 **simonlewis:** ummm....

 **jacewayland:** i stg simon, if u tell me it was u, you'll lose all cuddle privileges for the next month

 **simonlewis:** it wasn't me...

 **simonlewis:** but i think i know who did

 **maiaroberts:** don't keep us in suspense

 **claryfray:** yeah who did it

 **jacewayland:** simon,,,,, pls

 **simonlewis:** since u said pls...

 **simonlewis:** it was izzy

 **claryfray:** WHAT

 **maiaroberts:** scandalous

 **izzylightwood:** SIMON U ASS

 **aleclightwood:** nice one iz

 **jacewayland:** what did i ever do to u izzy

 **izzylightwood:** u broke my fav sword during training last week u dick

 **jacewayland:** that was an accident

 **izzylightwood:** u still needed to pay

 **jacewayland** : y couldn't u just bake me cookies like u normally do when ur mad

 **izzylightwood:** hey i'm a good cook

 **aleclightwood:** sure jan

 **izzylightwood:** shut up alec

 **izzylightwood:** aren't u supposed to be on a date with magnus anyway

 **aleclightwood:** it's called multi-tasking

 **magnusbane:** he's very good at it

 **claryfray:** so is izzy ;)

 **izzylightwood:** thx babe

 **claryfray:** it's true, even if i am mad u told simon about ur revenge plot instead of me

 **izzylightwood:** i didn't tell simon about it

 **maiaroberts:** wait, then how did u figure it out

 **simonlewis:** jace told me about what happened in training and i just put two and two together

 **simonlewis:** i'm not a complete idiot

 **aleclightwood:** debatable

 **simonlewis:** can we go one day on this gc without insulting each other

 **claryfray:** no

 **izzylightwood:** no

 **aleclightwood:** no

 **magnusbane:** no

 **jacewayland:** apparently not

 **maiaroberts:** well that's that then

 **claryfray:** at least we're all in agreement 

**jacewayland:** we agree that we're all horrible peopel

 **izzylightwood:** peopel?

 **claryfray:** peopel

 **aleclightwood:** PEOPEL

 **maiaroberts:** peopel

 **magnusbane:** peopel

 **jacewayland:** ... simon was literally the only one who didn't comment on that

 **jacewayland:** this is the exact reason why we can't have nice things

 **claryfray:** what did u expect, we're horrible peopel

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> duckduckgo is a real search engine and was the inspiration for this fic. poor, jace.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> maia roberts: what's a fun sponge
> 
> izzylightwood: its a thing that soaks all the fun out of any situation
> 
> izzylightwood: just like alec does

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aline's in this one because i love her and desperately need her to be best friends with the shadowgang.

**aleclightwood:** guess who's back in town

 **aleclightwood:** image attached

 **izzylightwood:** ALINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 **jacewayland:** HIIIIIIIII

 **izzylightwood:** add her to the chat

 **aleclightwood** has added **alinepenhallow** to the group chat

 **claryfray:** heyyyyyyyyy aline

 **alinepenhallow:** hey gingerbean

 **simonlewis:** since when do u two have a cutesy greeting for each other

 **alinepenhallow:** since that night we shared a bottle of vodka and clary thought it would be a good idea to show me she can make portals

 **jacewayland:** yikes she can barely do that sober

 **claryfray:** stuff it jace

 **izzylightwood:** wait why didn't i know abt this

 **claryfray:** u were in idris at the time

 **aleclightwood:** wait so what exactly happened

 **alinepenhallow:** lots of things

 **claryfray:** it was a WILD night

 **claryfray:** i think we may have ended up in a hell dimension

 **aleclightwood:** WHAT

 **alinepenhallow:** we're not entirely sure

 **claryfray:** there was A LOT of alcohol involved

 **maiaroberts:** omg u guys

 **aleclightwood:** i'm never leaving u two unsupervised ever again

 **alinepenhallow:** she got us back

 **claryfray:** and i learned never to drink and portal

 **simonlewis:** i should hope so

 **izzylightwood:** invite me along next time, that sounds awesome

 **aleclightwood:** NO

 **izzylightwood:** this is why ur the fun sponge

 **jacewayland:** what the what now

 **maia roberts:** what's a fun sponge

 **izzylightwood:** its a thing that soaks all the fun out of any situation

 **izzylightwood:** just like alec does

 **aleclightwood:** i have fun

 **aleclightwood:** i just don't think drunk interdimensional near death experiences constitute as fun

 **claryfray:** then what tf do u and magnus do on dates

 **aleclightwood:** what do u and izzy do on dates

 **claryfray:** u really wanna know

 **aleclightwood:** no

 **simonlewis:** so aline what are u doing in new york

 **jacewayland:** that was subtle simon

 **alinepenhallow:** well i actually had some news to share with u all

 **maiaroberts:** ooooooohhhhhhhhh

 **claryfray:** and here we were just talking shit

 **claryfray:** do tell

 **izzylightwood:** yeah what is it

 **alinepenhallow:** well.... it's better if i just show u

 **alinepenhallow:** image attached

 **claryfray:** IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS !!!!!!!!!!!

 **alinepenhallow:** YES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **alinepenhallow:** HELEN AND I ARE ENGAGED

 **jacewayland:** CONGRATS

 **izzylightwood:** OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

 **simonlewis:** MAZEL TOV

 **maiaroberts:** I'M SO HAPPY FOR U BOTH :))))

 **alinepenhallow:** i still can't believe she said yes

 **izzylightwood:** i can, u two are meant to be

 **claryfray:** yeah ur practically soulmates

 **alinepenhallow:** awwww, thx

 **izzylightwood:** where r u cuz i need to give u a hug rn

 **alinepenhallow:** in alec's office

 **alinepenhallow:** tho i just got my breath back from alec's massive hug

 **izzylightwood:** he does give the best hugs

 **jacewayland:** he does

 **claryfray:** why haven't i gotten a hug yet

 **aleclightwood:** because i don't like u

 **claryfray:** yes u do and i demand a hug from u as soon as i congratulate aline in person

 **aleclightwood:** not happening

 **alinepenhallow:** don't worry i'll make sure he does

 **claryfray:** thx

 **jacewayland:** as much as i love the idea of everyone storming alec's office we need to celebrate this properly

 **simonlewis:** yes let's have a party

 **izzylightwood:** good idea, think magnus would be down

 **aleclightwood:** ???????? have u even met my bf

 **izzylightwood:** ur right dumb question

 **claryfray:** where is magnus anyway

 **aleclightwood:** actually doing his job

 **maiaroberts:** woahhhhhhhhhhh

 **jacewayland:** ouch that sounded like a call out

 **claryfray:** yeah, u spend just as much time as us on this gc

 **izzylightwood:** don't mind him

 **izzylightwood:** alec's just grouchy because magnus has been in hamburg with a client for two days

 **maiaroberts:** ah

 **claryfray:** while i'm pretty sure magnus will want to throw a party when he gets back we should still go out and celebrate tonight

 **izzylightwood:** yes through a collective drunk interdimensional near death experience

 **aleclightwood:** no izzy

 **izzylightwood:** fine what about takis or the hunters moon

 **alinepenhallow:** with u guys... better make it hunters moon

 **simonlewis:** good call

 **simonlewis:** maia u working tonight

 **maiaroberts:** nope i'm free

 **claryfray:** yassssssssssssss

 **izzylightwood:** :)))))) what about the rest of u

 **jacewayland:** hell yeah

 **simonlewis:** i'm in

 **aleclightwood:** me too

 **izzylightwood:** i'm so pumped for this

 **alinepenhallow:** what time should we meet up around

 **aleclightwood:** how about 9ish

 **alinepenhallow:** wanna know why he chose that time

 **claryfray:** yeah why?

 **alinepenhallow:** cause magnus should be back by then

 **izzylightwood:** #exposed

 **maiaroberts:** i'm not even surprised at this point

 **jacewayland:** yeah, ur too predictable bro

 **aleclightwood:** shut up

 **alinepenhallow:** alec's turning pink

 **izzylightwood:** u do know ur the only one who can make fun of him and not get hit for it

 **jacewayland:** she knows and uses it to her advantage

 **alinepenhallow:** i do

 **claryfray:** that's my girl

 **simonlewis:** actually that's helen's girl

 **izzylightwood:** yeah where is ur other half

 **alinepenhallow:** she's visiting with family telling them the news

 **maiaroberts:** i'm so excited for u both

 **jacewayland:** yeah u two deserve all the happiness

 **claryfray:** agreed

 **alinepenhallow:** u all are too nice

 **simonlewis:** it's a good thing u weren't on the gc the other day

 **claryfray:** yeah we all unanimously agreed we're horrible peopel

 **alinepenhallow:** peopel?

 **jacewayland:** i made a typo and they won't let me live it down

 **claryfray:** it'll be his legacy

 **jacewayland:** i want a new legacy

 **aleclightwood:** too bad u can't chose ur legacy

 **jacewayland:** fine enjoy ur legacy of being the fun sponge

 **izzylightwood:** BURNNNNN

 **aleclightwood:** i'm gonna put both of u on night patrols for the next month

 **claryfray:** SAVAGE

 **maiaroberts:** not that i want to interrupt ur shadowhunter roast, but i gtg

 **maiaroberts:** see you all at 9 tonite

 **izzylightwood:** ofc

 **simonlewis:** wouldn't miss it

 **alinepenhallow:** can't wait to see u all

 **claryfray:** i'm still stopping by alec's office to jump on u

 **aleclightwood:** pls don't

 **claryfray:** too late

 **claryfray:** and don't think i forgot abt that hug u owe me

 **aleclightwood:** kill me now

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and yes, clary does get that hug if u were wondering


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> magnusbane: i've done it before
> 
> maiaroberts: srsly ????????
> 
> magnusbane: i supposedly enchanted a carpet to fly
> 
> magnusbane: or so i'm told, i was spectacularly drunk at the time

**simonlewis:** u are never gonna believe what just happened

**izzylightwood:** srsly i wouldn't believe it if i didn't witness it with my own two eyes

**maiaroberts:** what happened

**izzylightwood:** simon accomplished a truly legendary feat

**aleclightwood:** i find that hard to believe

**claryfray:** STOP STALLING WHAT DID U DO

**simonlewis:** i got raphael to laugh

**izzylightwood:** like honestly rolling on the floor laughing for like a minute straight

**maiaroberts:** no way

**claryfray:** my mind is BLOWN

**jacewayland:** that's my bf

**simonlewis:** :))))

**claryfray:** how did u do it

**simonlewis:** i showed him what magnus did last nite

**maiaroberts:** hahahahaa

**jacewayland:** AHAHAHA

**magnusbane:** thanks solomon

**magnusbane:** it's not like he's gonna lord that over me for the next century or anything

**claryfray:** hey hold up,,

**claryfray:** what did magnus do last night

**jacewayland:** ur kidding

**maiaroberts:** u don't remember ????

**claryfray:**??????? should i

**izzylightwood:** clary had already fallen asleep by then

**izzylightwood:** she's a such lightweight

**claryfray:** back off, i had a lot of shots and i'm tiny

**claryfray:** but in all seriousness what did magnus do

**jacewayland:** well, he got really drunk

**claryfray:** so i've gathered

**jacewayland:** and then aline went over and had a chat with magnus

**maiaroberts:** and the next thing anyone knows magnus is up on the bar and proclaiming his love for alec

**claryfray:** alrightttttttt

**simonlewis:** and he began serenading alec by singing wind beneath my wings

**maiaroberts:** he actually has a pretty good singing voice

**magnusbane:** thanks maia

**maiaroberts:** :)))

**izzylightwood:** magnus then told alec he was the wind beneath his wings

**jacewayland:** and then promptly jumped off the bar and ended up face first on the floor

**claryfray:** OH

**claryfray:** MY

**claryfray:** GAWD!!!!!!!!!11!!!1!!!!

**magnusbane:** in my defense i thought i could fly

**claryfray:** obviously not

**magnusbane:** i've done it before

**maiaroberts:** srsly ????????

**magnusbane:** i supposedly enchanted a carpet to fly

**magnusbane:** or so i'm told, i was spectacularly drunk at the time

**simonlewis:** what is up with u drinking and flying

**magnusbane:** beats me

**claryfray:** pls tell me someone got this shit on video

**izzylightwood:** what do u think we showed raphael

**simonlewis:** yea, we got u covered fray

**aleclightwood:** guys don't u dare

**izzylightwood:** video attached

**aleclightwood:** dammit izzy

**claryfray:** THIS IS PURE GOLD

**izzylightwood:** ikr

**maiaroberts:** i don't know how i'm gonna work tonite without thinking abt this the whole time

**aleclightwood:** i'm gonna fight all of u

**izzylightwood:** HA simon owes me $20

**simonlewis:** DAMMIT

**jacewayland:** simon i told u to never make bets with izzy

**jacewayland:** she always wins

**izzylightwood:** damn straight ;)

**claryfray:** uh, babe, ur not straight

**izzylightwood:** damn bi ;)

**maiaroberts:** what'd u bet on

**izzylightwood:** on just how long it would take for alec to threaten to fight somebody on the gc

**maiaroberts:** OMG

**izzylightwood:** it was easy money really

**claryfray:** yeah, alec threatens to fight someone everyday, usually me

**jacewayland:** classic alec

**jacewayland:** honestly, u should consider changing ur name to alec fightwood

**aleclightwood:** speaking of names, why tf do u still go by wayland on the gc

**jacewayland:** idk, i just do

**jacewayland:** why does clary still go by fray

**claryfray:** my last name is like a metaphor for my life

**maiaroberts:** explain

**claryfray:** cuz my life is fraying apart at the seams

**jacewayland:** ,,

**izzylightwood:** uhhhh... clary ??????

**izzylightwood:** u ok over there

**claryfray:** yeh, i'm just fucking around

**claryfray:** i like fray cuz it rhymes with gay

**maiaroberts:** hahahahaa

**jacewayland:** i was gonna say... that got dark real fast

**simonlewis:** hello existential despair my old friend

**raphaelsantiago:** old friend? more like ur only friend

**aleclightwood:** i will never tire of u insulting simon

**simonlewis:** does it physically pain u to be nice to me

**raphaelsantiago:** yes

**aleclightwood:** srsly u keep that up and i'm gonna name my first born son after u

**magnusbane:** i wouldn't be so quick to lay on the praise

**raphaelsantiago:** hello magnus

**raphaelsantiago:** u were a total idiot last night

**magnusbane:** there it is

**aleclightwood:** wow raphael

**aleclightwood:** now you've been demoted to the name of our second born son

**izzylightwood:** OUR????????

**izzylightwood:** is there something ur not telling us??????????

**magnusbane:** no

**aleclightwood:** no

**claryfray:** wait so aline got engaged and u two are having a baby THIS IS AWESOME

**magnusbane:** that's not what we said

**aleclightwood:** no one is having a baby

**izzylightwood:** so what r u naming the little one

**aleclightwood:** omg STOP

**jacewayland:** can i be the godfather

**maiaroberts:** i'm wheezing

**claryfray:** hi wheezing, i'm clary

**aleclightwood:** i think clary's the one having a kid

**aleclightwood:** she's already making dad jokes

**claryfray:** joke's on u, i'm ur dad now

**aleclightwood:** no ur not

**jacewayland:** HEY that's no way to talk to ur father

**aleclightwood:** clary... u are literally dating my sister

**claryfray:** i didn't say i was izzy's dad, just that i was urs

**aleclightwood:** that doesn't even make any sense

**raphaelsantiago:** u all are crazy

**claryfray:** oh stop, u love us

**raphaelsantiago:** no i don't

**claryfray:** everytime u say that my heart gets a little warmer

**raphaelsantiago:** i just wanted to shame magnus and i did

**raphaelsantiago:** i'm leaving now

**magnusbane:** i left shame behind over 500 years ago

**jacewayland:** exactly how old are u

**magnusbane:** a good warlock never tells

**izzylightwood:** hey clary get ur ass over here

**izzylightwood:** i just got my $20 from simon, i'm taking u out

**claryfray:** ur the best gf ever

**simonlewis:** u guys r so cute, even if ur doing it with my money

**izzylightwood:** hey i won it fair and square

**jacewayland:** not the words i'd use but ok

**maiaroberts:** have fun guys

**claryfray:** we will :))) goodnite everyone

**claryfray:** and an especially big goodnite to alec, my beautiful son who i raised all these years

**aleclightwood:** i don't know why i bother with u

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> magnusbane: wait, i think he's coming out
> 
> izzylightwood: i think he already did ;)
> 
> aleclightwood: izzy... pls
> 
> aleclightwood: i think you've done enough to me today

**magnusbane:** what did u all do to alec

 **maiaroberts:** nothing i'm aware of

 **simonlewis:** yeah, i haven't seen him since yesterday

 **simonlewis:** what's wrong

 **magnusbane:** he got back to the loft looking like a ghost, said he was 'traumatized' and locked himself in the bedroom

 **jacewayland:** is he okay

 **jacewayland:** should i come over ??????

 **jacewayland:** DAMMIT ALEC ANSWER ME

 **magnusbane:** wait, i think he's coming out

 **izzylightwood:** i think he already did ;)

 **aleclightwood:** izzy... pls

 **aleclightwood:** i think you've done enough to me today

 **jacewayland:** alec are u ok

 **aleclightwood:** not really

 **aleclightwood:** izzy and clary traumatized me

 **simonlewis:** clary ????? what did she do to u

 **maiaroberts:** what happened

 **jacewayland:** izzy, what the hell did u do to him

 **izzylightwood:** what happened is all on alec

 **simonlewis:** what is going on ??????

 **magnusbane:** hang on a minute

 **magnusbane:** ok...

 **magnusbane:** so apparently alec walked in on izzy and clary having sex

 **simonlewis:** oh

 **maiaroberts:** hahaHA

 **jacewayland:** dammit alec, i was really worried there for a sec

 **claryfray:** i do think ur overreacting a tiny bit

 **aleclightwood:** NO I'M NOT

 **izzylightwood:** u kinda brought it on urself bro

 **izzylightwood:** u should've knocked

 **aleclightwood:** YOU WERE IN THE KITCHEN

 **maiaroberts:** omfg

 **izzylightwood:** u said u were gonna be gone another hour

 **aleclightwood:** my meeting with lydia ended early

 **lydiabranwell:** so now it's my fault u don't have manners

 **aleclightwood:** they were in a PUBLIC SPACE

 **claryfray:** don't kinkshame us

 **aleclightwood:** i can and will when ur kink makes me to want to bleach my brain

 **izzylightwood:** remember that next time when u decide u want to walk in on clary sitting on my face

 **aleclightwood:** pls,,

 **aleclightwood:** stop

 **maiaroberts:** i think ur hurting alec's delicate sensitivities

 **magnusbane:** yeah, he just asked me to erase that memory from his mind

 **jacewayland:** drama queen

 **aleclightwood:** u literally have no room to talk

 **jacewayland:** what's that supposed to mean

 **aleclightwood:** do u know just how many times you've walked in on me and magnus

 **magnusbane:** that's true

 **jacewayland:** what are u talking abt

 **aleclightwood:** u always seem to walk in when magnus and i are abt to get it on

 **claryfray:** ew

 **aleclightwood:** clary i can't even talk to u rn

 **jacewayland:**???????? when have i ever walked in on u

 **aleclightwood:** ur kidding

 **aleclightwood:** just two days ago u came over to magnus' loft to tell me what simon said

 **jacewayland:** THAT WAS IMPORTANT

 **claryfray:** wait, simon what did u say

 **simonlewis:** i told jace i loved him

 **simonlewis:** and jace said it back

 **claryfray:** A;DKLSJF;KLJZDF;KJLFDSAJ;KLADSF

 **maiaroberts:** THAT'S HUGE

 **izzylightwood:** NICEEEEEEEE

 **jacewayland:** u can't get mad at me for that

 **jacewayland:** u literally did the same thing when u told magnus u loved him

 **aleclightwood:** that's... fair

 **magnusbane:** awwwww, u told jace after it happened

 **aleclightwood:** i wanted to tell EVERYONE after it happened

 **magnusbane:** :))))))

 **claryfray:** anyone wanna take any bets on if they're kissing or not

 **izzylightwood:** no

 **jacewayland:** nah

 **maiaroberts:** absolutely not

 **simonlewis:** no

 **lydiabranwell:** no

 **claryfray:** those all came in within ten seconds

 **claryfray:** and the fact magnus and alec haven't responded def means they're making out now

 **jacewayland:** they're predictable as hell

 **izzylightwood:** u can say that again

 **jacewayland:** they're predictable as hell

 **izzylightwood:** k, i didn't mean that literally

 **jacewayland:** izzy,, i didn't die for ur sass

 **izzylightwood:** wat

 **claryfray:** he said he didn't die for ur sass izzy GOD

 **izzylightwood:** clary,,,

 **claryfray:** pls izzy, i love u, don't take away cuddles i will DIE

 **izzylightwood:**..fine

 **claryfray:** :))))))

 **simonlewis:** i think u two are just as predictable as algnus

 **maiaroberts:** algnus ??????????

 **simonlewis:** u know, magnus and alec

 **izzylightwood:** that's a horrible name

 **claryfray:** yeah, they should be called malec

 **jacewayland:** agreed, simon ur ship naming game is hella weak

 **simonlewis:** are u kidding me jace

 **jacewayland:** i love u but srsly that name is wrong

 **jacewayland:** next thing u'll be telling me is you've named us simace or sumthing

 **simonlewis:** i didn't

 **simonlewis:** tho i have been calling us jimon

 **izzylightwood:** ohhhhhhh, i like that

 **claryfray:** jimon sounds a lot like diamond

 **maiaroberts:** it does

 **simonlewis:** pls don't be mad

 **simonlewis:** jace ?????????

 **maiaroberts:** anyone wanna bet if they're making out now

 **izzylightwood:** nope

 **claryfray:** no

 **lydiabranwell:** no

 **claryfray:** izzy....

 **claryfray:** u wanna make out too

 **izzylightwood:** hell yea

 **maiaroberts:** r u almost done with work lydia

 **lydiabranwell:** yes

 **maiaroberts:** woohoooooo

 **lydiabranwell:** wait a sec

 **lydiabranwell:** are u just asking cuz u wanna make out too

 **maiaroberts:** ,,, well everyone else is

 **lydiabranwell:** that's fair

 **lydiabranwell:** give me twenty minutes

 **maiaroberts:** i love u lydia

 **lydiabranwell:** love u too babe

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aleclightwood: well, the clary fray starter pack includes 100 knives, black clothes, uncontrollable rage and a predisposition for being mistaken as hetero by the straights
> 
> claryfray: i can't even argue with that
> 
> claryfray: u got me pegged dude

**aleclightwood:** clary fray is canceled

 **maiaroberts:** WHAT

 **simonlewis:** what now

 **jacewayland:** what happened

 **claryfray:** alec is overreacting, as usual

 **izzylightwood:** what'd he do this time

 **claryfray:** he got mad because i didn't text him back for like half a day

 **aleclightwood:** clary, u are never without ur phone

 **claryfray:** i was BUSY

 **aleclightwood:** it takes two seconds to answer a text

 **claryfray:** i was on patrol

 **aleclightwood:** u didn't text me back until 3 hours after patrol ended

 **claryfray:** geez, ur worse than luke

 **izzylightwood:** yea, calm down, ur being extra

 **aleclightwood:** i'm not extra

 **simonlewis:** ummmmmm

 **jacewayland:** bro u literally try to fight everyone

 **aleclightwood:** so what

 **izzylightwood:** u literally came out to our parents by kissing magnus at ur sham wedding

 **izzylightwood:** no offense lydia

 **lydiabranwell:** none taken

 **aleclightwood:** that was extenuating circumstances

 **magnusbane:** uh, darling...

 **magnusbane:** the first time i ever u laid eyes on u, u killed a circle member, took his knife and flipped it

 **jacewayland:** its true

 **aleclightwood:** i was saving ur life

 **magnusbane:**...was the knife flip really necessary?

 **aleclightwood:** uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 **magnusbane:** srsly i didn't mean it as a bad thing

 **magnusbane:** i quite like that trait abt u ;)

 **claryfray:** the alec lightwood starter pack includes a bow and quiver, black clothes, being extra af and having heart eyes whenever magnus is present

 **maiaroberts:** i'm CHOKING

 **aleclightwood:** well, the clary fray starter pack includes 100 knives, black clothes, uncontrollable rage and a predisposition for being mistaken as hetero by the straights

 **claryfray:** i can't even argue with that

 **claryfray:** u got me pegged dude

 **aleclightwood:** i know u fray

 **claryfray:** yea, cuz we're besties ;)

 **aleclightwood:** don't push it, i'm still angry with u

 **izzylightwood:** hold up, i wanna try

 **izzylightwood:** the jace wayland/morgenstern/lightwood/herondale starter pack includes a leather jacket, sharp weapons, angst and being dtf

 **maiaroberts:** wait, do u mean down to fuck or down to fight?

 **simonlewis:** both, duh

 **jacewayland:** yeah, DUH

 **izzylightwood:** DAMNNNNNNNNNNNN

 **claryfray:** jace is rubbing off on simon apparently

 **jacewayland:** in more ways than one ;)

 **izzylightwood:** omg u guys

 **simonlewis:** u started this izzy

 **izzylightwood:** shit, i did,, didn't i

 **claryfray:** and in that moment izzy knew, she fucked up

 **izzylightwood:** which is unfortunate, since i'd rather be fucking u

 **maiaroberts:** omg

 **claryfray:** IZZY

 **claryfray:** we promised we wouldn't talk abt our sex life in front of alec for like a month after The Incident™

 **aleclightwood:** update: clary is uncanceled and izzy is forever canceled

 **claryfray:** awww, thx alec

 **simonlewis:** gay/lesbian solidarity is real

 **izzylightwood:** and brother/sister solidarity isn't ????????

 **aleclightwood:** seems so

 **izzylightwood:** i came out to have a good time

 **izzylightwood:** and honestly, i feel so attacked rn

 **aleclightwood:** should have thought of that before u opened ur mouth

 **izzylightwood:** i'm texting

 **aleclightwood:** still

 **jacewayland:** u could have just removed her from the gc

 **aleclightwood:** that thought didn't occur to me

 **aleclightwood:** guess i'm just not as Extra™ as u

 **magnusbane:** ALEC

 **claryfray:** SHOTS FIRED

 **maiaroberts:** jace found dead in nyc

 **simonlewis:** don't worry jace, i know cpr ;)

 **claryfray:** srsly jace, stop being such a bad influence on simon

 **izzylightwood:** yea, i miss the old simon

 **simonlewis:** sorry, old simon can't come to the phone now

 **maiaroberts:**???????????

 **claryfray:** did u just quote taylor swift

 **simonlewis:** maybe i did

 **izzylightwood:** who is taylor swift

 **claryfray:** i can't tell if ur being sarcastic or not but i'm still coming over to culture u

 **izzylightwood:** u can culture me anyday bby

 **aleclightwood** has just removed **izzylightwood** from the group chat

 **jacewayland:** so much for not being extra

 **aleclightwood:** i'm done hiding from the truth

 **aleclightwood:** i'm extra af

 **aleclightwood:** and i think i need an extra pair of lips on me

 **maiaroberts:** did alec just ?????? make an innuendo

 **claryfray:** i think he did

 **jacewayland:** i bet magnus is SHOOK

 **magnusbane:** i am

 **magnusbane:** give me ten minutes alexander

 **maiaroberts:** awwwww

 **claryfray:** shit, izzy is knocking on my door demanding i let her back on the chat

 **aleclightwood:** don't

 **claryfray:** she's my gf

 **simonlewis:** #whipped

 **claryfray:** u'd know my pain if jace ever withheld cuddles from u

 **claryfray:** sorry alec

 **claryfray** has added **izzylightwood** to the group chat

 **izzylightwood:** alexander gideon lightwood how dare u

 **maiaroberts:** yikes

 **aleclightwood:** i warned u sis

 **izzylightwood:** i'm gonna put hair dye in ur shampoo

 **aleclightwood:** joke's on u, i'm living at magnus's now

 **claryfray:** wait WHAT

 **izzylightwood:** when did this happen

 **aleclightwood:** last week

 **maiaroberts:** congrats

 **jacewayland:** i'm happy for u bro

 **aleclightwood:** thanks

 **izzylightwood:** srsly this is huge

 **izzylightwood:** i'm so proud of u

 **aleclightwood:** ok, ur uncanceled, so long as u don't make anymore sex jokes

 **izzylightwood:** deal

 **simonlewis:** yay

 **claryfray:** all is right in the world again

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> claryfray: alec lightwood: gay hero
> 
> izzylightwood: battling the forces of heteronormativity with his non-straight friends at his side
> 
> magnusbane: and his smoking hot bf
> 
> izzylightwood: that too

**izzylightwood:** look my new shirt finally arrived today

 **izzylightwood:** image attached

 **claryfray:** omg IZZY

 **aleclightwood:** "i'm gay for clary fray" ?????????

 **simonlewis:** lol

 **jacewayland:** ur bi izzy

 **izzylightwood:** yea and ??????

 **jacewayland:** stop bi erasure

 **magnusbane:** september is bi visibility month

 **claryfray:** oh NEAT

 **claryfray:** shout to my favorite bis: magnus bane, izzy lightwood and,, jack wazzlebob ???

 **simonlewis:** who's jack

 **simonlewis:**..oh

 **maiaroberts:** omg clary

 **jacewayland:** ,,

 **jacewayland:** i have never been so offended in my entire life

 **claryfray:** i'm just kidding jace, u know ilu

 **jacewayland:** apology not accepted

 **claryfray:** pls

 **claryfray:** i'll make it up to u by buying ice cream for my absolute fav bi, jace wayland

 **jacewayland:** fine,, but only because u said bi 3 times in one sentences

 **izzylightwood:** why am i not ur fav bi

 **claryfray:** cause ur shirt says ur gay for me

 **izzylightwood:** well, "i'm bi for clary fray" doesn't have the same ring to it

 **maiaroberts:** omg, so i totally read that as "i'm bi for clary fry"

 **simonlewis:** clary FRY

 **claryfray:** THIS JUST IN

 **claryfray:** my new name is clary fry

 **izzylightwood:** i need a new shirt now

 **claryfray:** don't worry, i'll order u a new one

 **izzylightwood:** thanks small fry ;)

 **claryfray:** so jace, did u wanna go for ice cream now

 **jacewayland:** yea, give me minute

 **aleclightwood:** don't forget you both have patrol in an hour

 **jacewayland:** k mom

 **izzylightwood:** haha

 **aleclightwood:** what the juck jace

 **jacewayland:** what the juck alec

 **claryfray:** omg

 **aleclightwood:** stOP

 **jacewayland:** why the juck would i stop

 **izzylightwood:** yea, he's just getting jucking started

 **aleclightwood:** i'm gonna kill u jace

 **jacewayland:** u can jucking try

 **izzylightwood:** ummm,, clary ????????

 **izzylightwood:** why do i hear jace screaming from ur room

 **claryfray:** bc alec just ran in and and straight up jump tackled him to the floor

 **simonlewis:** WHAT

 **claryfray:** yea, i don't think we're going for ice cream now

 **izzylightwood:** omg, i'm coming over

 **izzylightwood:** anyone wanna take any bets? i'm putting twenty on alec

 **magnusbane:** same

 **simonlewis:** same amt but on jace

 **maiaroberts:** yeh, i'll back jace too

 **claryfray:** NO WAY

 **izzylightwood:** R U KIDDING ME

 **simonlewis:** wat's going on

 **izzylightwood:** well alec had jace in a chokehold

 **claryfray:** but then jace slipped out of it and is tickling alec's sides

 **magnusbane:** oh NO

 **izzylightwood:** yep, you'd think he'd learn after all these years

 **izzylightwood:** anyway, alec just kicked jace in the face with his flailing limbs

 **claryfray:** now he's apologizing and hugging jace

 **claryfray:** they're having a major broment

 **maiaroberts:** a broment ?

 **claryfray:** its like a moment but btwn two bros

 **maiaroberts:** gotcha

 **simonlewis:** so does that mean no one wins the fight

 **izzylightwood:** unfortunately not

 **maiaroberts:** boo

 **izzylightwood:** they'll prolly rematch later

 **claryfray:** also we're heading down the street to daveys for ice cream now, anyone else wanna come

 **simonlewis:** i can't, i'm meeting up with my sis

 **maiaroberts:** sorry, pack stuff :(

 **magnusbane:** that'll be a no for me too

 **magnusbane:** i just started a time sensitive potion

 **aleclightwood:** :(((

 **magnusbane:** sorry, alexander

 **aleclightwood:** its ok, want me to bring u back anything

 **magnusbane:** some mocha chip ice cream wouldn't go remiss

 **aleclightwood:** u got it

 **magnusbane:** thank you

 **claryfray:** i think alec's going order some #whipped cream on his ice cream

 **aleclightwood:** shut up fray

 **aleclightwood:** just because i do nice things for magnus doesn't mean i'm whipped

 **claryfray:** GET MY NAME RIGHT ALEC ITS CLARY FRY

 **aleclightwood:** ur buying ur own ice cream now

 **claryfray:** that's ok, izzy will spot me

 **izzylightwood:** yea, i got ur back

 **claryfray:** ilu

 **izzylightwood:** luv u too

 **jacewayland:** oh no

 **simonlewis:** oh no what

 **jacewayland:** we just got to the ice cream parlor and i think alec is gonna implode

 **magnusbane:** why

 **claryfray:** bc the ice cream server just told alec and me that we looked like a cute couple

 **maiaroberts:** oh shit

 **simonlewis:** yeah, this can't end well

 **aleclightwood:** i told him we're not dating and he just winked at me like he didn't believe me

 **magnusbane:** stay strong alec

 **aleclightwood:** OMG I'M

 **simonlewis:** what is happening

 **jacewayland:** izzy literally kissed clary on the mouth and is holding her hand and the server just said they looked like really good friends

 **maiaroberts:** just gals being pals

 **izzylightwood:** i'm laughing so hard, alec is FUMING

 **jacewayland:** the server came back and handed the bill to alec and me to pay for our dates and alec is doing that eye squint

 **maiaroberts:** the gay squint

 **claryfray:** yep

 **izzylightwood:** alec just slid the bill to me and told me to pay since clary's my date and told the guy he needs to order some cold ice cream to go for his smoking hot bf

 **magnusbane:** HE DIDN'T

 **jacewayland:** oh he did

 **claryfray:** the look on this guys face is PRICELESS

 **izzylightwood:** OH MY GOD

 **izzylightwood:** he just stared back and forth btwn all of us and said 'oh'.

 **jacewayland:** alec is just glaring and him, warning him not to try any shit

 **magnusbane:** OMG ALEC

 **claryfray:** the guy took our money, dropped off ur ice cream and practically ran from alec's death glare

 **simonlewis:** as someone who's been on the receiving end of one of those, YIKES

 **jacewayland:** ok, we've left the shop but alec is still pissed

 **aleclightwood:** i cannot and will not stand for ppl always assuming we're straight

 **simonlewis:** hear hear

 **claryfray:** alec lightwood: gay hero

 **izzylightwood:** battling the forces of heteronormativity with his non-straight friends at his side

 **magnusbane:** and his smoking hot bf

 **izzylightwood:** that too

 **magnusbane:** i still can't believe u said that to the poor guy

 **aleclightwood:** well, it's true and he was annoying

 **jacewayland:** alec: he's not the hero we deserve, but the hero we need

 **claryfray:** did u just make a batman reference ????

 **jacewayland:** yea, simon and i watched one of the movies last week

 **aleclightwood:** ok, i gotta get this ice cream to magnus and the rest of u need to get out on patrol

 **izzylightwood:** our hero has spoken, c'mon guys

 **claryfray:** let's get down to business

 **jacewayland:** to defeat the huns

 **maiaroberts:** do u guys do this before every mission

 **claryfray:** maybeeeeeeeeee

 **simonlewis:** nice

 **magnusbane:** have fun defeating the huns... and the demons

 **izzylightwood:** ofc

 **izzylightwood:** enjoy ur ice cream and ur gay hero

 **magnusbane:** i always do ;D

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> claryfray: happy bday to everyone's fav salty gay
> 
> claryfray: may u continue to get saltier with age
> 
> izzylightwood: oh u know he will

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u thought i wasn't gonna write a little something for alec's birthday today u were dead wrong. happy bday to alec "i'm not your bitch" lightwood. what a legend.

**magnusbane:** i've gotta talk to u all

 **magnusbane** has removed **aleclightwood** from the group chat

 **izzylightwood:** wow

 **izzylightwood:** i'd never thought i'd see the day where u'd remove alec from the gc

 **magnusbane:** it's only temporary

 **magnusbane:** and alec's in a meeting for the next half hour so he won't even notice

 **izzylightwood:** still

 **claryfray:** wait alec is working today

 **izzylightwood:** yea

 **claryfray:** why

 **claryfray:** like i know alec is the head of the institute but its his bday

 **jacewayland:** clary,,

 **jacewayland:** this is alec were talking abt

 **claryfray:** right i forgot

 **magnusbane:** ok, does everyone know what they're doing tonight

 **izzylightwood:** heck yeah

 **izzylightwood:** i just finished making the perfect party playlist complete with a bunch of alec's fav songs

 **maiaroberts:** and i've got enough alcohol for everyone and then some

 **claryfray:** yeahhhhh

 **jacewayland:** and i'll be there to make sure clary doesn't drink too much

 **claryfray:** ur so funny jace

 **claryfray:** i hope a redhead doesn't burn ur house down tonite

 **magnusbane:** there will be no burning of anyone's houses tonight

 **claryfray:** boo

 **magnusbane:** u can do it tomorrow, tonight is for alec

 **claryfray:** that's fair

 **simonlewis:** what time is the party again

 **magnusbane:** i'm picking alec up from the institute at 7, so be at my loft before then

 **simonlewis:** got it

 **izzylightwood:** i'm so excited for this

 **claryfray:** hell yeah, it's gonna be lit

 **jacewayland:** what is up with u and fire references today

 **claryfray:** idk

 **izzyclary:** she's a closet pyro

 **claryfray:** iz, i haven't been a closet anything for years

 **simonlewis:** haha

 **jacewayland:** i'm still keeping u away from the bday cake

 **jacewayland:** we have a cake right

 **magnusbane:** yeah, i'm portaling to peru this afternoon to pick it up

 **simonlewis:** peru ????????

 **magnusbane:** there's a small bakery that makes the most exquisite desserts there

 **izzylightwood:** hey, aren't u banned from peru

 **magnusbane:** i mean, technically

 **jacewayland:** shit, i just saw alec

 **maiaroberts:** WHAT

 **claryfray:** i thought u said he was in a meeting

 **magnusbane:** it must have let out early

 **izzylightwood:** put him back on the chat before he notices

 **izzylightwood:** and start talking abt something random so he doesn't get suspicious

 **jacewayland** has added **aleclightwood** to the group chat

 **jacewayland:** can we get back the topic of clary being a not so closet pyro

 **claryfray:** omg, let that go

 **jacewayland:** no, u threatened to burn my house down

 **jacewayland:** i don't even own a house

 **claryfray:** i just said i hope someone doesn't do that

 **jacewayland:** i know what a veiled threat is clary

 **aleclightwood:** what's going on

 **izzylightwood:** clary threatened to burn down the institute

 **claryfray:** i said no such thing

 **claryfray:** this is SLANDER

 **aleclightwood:** slander implies u actually have a reputation to damage

 **maiaroberts:** DAMN SON

 **simonlewis:** alec is taking no survivors today

 **aleclightwood:** it's my bday, i can do what i want

 **izzylightwood:** yeah u can

 **izzylightwood:** happy bday bro

 **jacewayland:** yeah, happy bday parabatai

 **simonlewis:** happy bday

 **maiaroberts:** woohoo, happy birthday

 **claryfray:** happy bday to everyone's fav salty gay

 **claryfray:** may u continue to get saltier with age

 **izzylightwood:** oh u know he will

 **claryfray:** ok, now i don't wanna call anyone out,,

 **jacwayland:** that's a filthy lie

 **claryfray:** but why hasn't magnus wished alec a happy bday yet

 **magnusbane:** i already did

 **aleclightwood:** yeah, i live with him u know

 **aleclightwood:** he wished me a happy bday in person, unlike u

 **claryfray:** hey, u were in a meeting all morning

 **claryfray:** i'm coming over to ur office since ur clearly out now

 **aleclightwood:** i've been out for a while now

 **aleclightwood:** i'm gay

 **maiaroberts:** nice one

 **jacewayland:** alec is physically incapable of not responding to a set up like that

 **izzylightwood:** it's true

 **maiaroberts:** *wipes tear from eye* that's our gay hero

 **claryfray:** he's an inspiration to the masses

 **simonlewis:** a true icon, never to be duplicated

 **jacewayland:** we would truly be worser off without u

 **aleclightwood:** u got that right


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> maiaroberts: omg never change
> 
> claryfray: srsly, name a more iconic duo than magnus and causing mischief, i'll wait
> 
> izzylightwood: easy, magnus and alec
> 
> claryfray: shit u right

**jacewayland:** MAGNUS LET ME IN RIGHT NOW

 **jacewayland:** I KNOW U AND ALEC R IN THERE

 **claryfray:** whoa where's the fire

 **izzylightwood:**??????? really clary

 **maiaroberts:** yeah, out of all things u could have said u go with that

 **claryfray:** ur right, maybe there is some truth to me being a pyro

 **jacewayland:** SRSLY GUYS THIS ISN'T FUNNY LET ME IN

 **simonlewis:** what's going on

 **jacewayland:** MAGNUS TURNED MY HAIR PURPLE AND I'M GONNA KILL HIM

 **izzylightwood:** OMG HAHA

 **claryfray:** AHAHAHHA

 **maiaroberts:** haha jace

 **jacewayland:** srsly i have patrol in half an hour

 **jacewayland:** i can't go to the institute looking like this

 **magnusbane:** u mean, u can't go to the institute looking fabulous

 **maiaroberts:** omg

 **jacewayland:** what did i ever do to deserve this

 **aleclightwood:**??????? really now

 **jacewayland:** correction: what did i do to u last nite

 **magnusbane:** oh nothing

 **magnusbane:** i just thought it would amuse alec

 **aleclightwood:** and it did haha

 **maiaroberts:** omg never change

 **claryfray:** srsly, name a more iconic duo than magnus and causing mischief, i'll wait

 **izzylightwood:** easy, magnus and alec

 **claryfray:** shit u right

 **jacewayland:** pls, guys let me in NOW

 **aleclightwood:** not likely seeing as u just threatened to kill my bf

 **jacewayland:** i won't as long as he changes my hair back

 **aleclightwood:** i honestly don't know what ur complaining abt

 **aleclightwood:** it's a huge improvement

 **maiaroberts:** HAHA

 **claryfray:** hey, jace, on a completely unrelated note, can u send me a selfie

 **jacewayland:** fuk u

 **magnusbane:** i got u covered biscuit

 **magnusbane:** image attached

 **izzylightwood:** i'm actually crying, this is the best day of my life

 **maiaroberts:** FUCK

 **claryfray:** i am SCREAMING

 **claryfray:** this is gonna my new bg pic

 **jacewayland:** i cannot believe u all

 **jacewayland:** u know what,, actually i can

 **simonlewis:** hey, now that everyone's had their laugh can u pls change his hair back

 **maiaroberts:** look at simon being all protective of his bf

 **izzylightwood:** yeah, i don't think he likes jace's new look

 **simonlewis:** HEY

 **simonlewis:** jace would look perfectly amazing even with rainbow hair

 **magnusbane:** now that's a novel idea

 **jacewayland:** simon,, ur not helping

 **simonlewis:** sorry, shutting up now

 **jacewayland:** alec

 **jacewayland:** let. me. in.

 **aleclightwood:** no

 **jacewayland:** if u don't i will tell everyone the real sequence of events that led to u coming back from patrol soaking wet last week

 **claryfray:** WHAT

 **izzylightwood:** i knew there was something fishy wit that story

 **aleclightwood:** u wouldn't dare do that

 **jacewayland:** u wanna bet

 **aleclightwood:** u swore total secrecy

 **jacewayland:** that was before ur bf dyed my hair purple

 **aleclightwood:** i still don't believe u

 **jacewayland:** don't say i didn't warn u

 **jacewayland:** so everyone, the incident last week had to do with some ravener demons, mundane police horses and the cherry hill fountain...

 **aleclightwood:** STOP IT JACE

 **aleclightwood:** I'M OPENING THE DOOR NOW

 **izzylightwood:** what, no i wanna hear the story

 **simonlewis:** yea, me too

 **maiaroberts:** u absolutely cannot leave us hanging like this

 **claryfray:** yeah, i need as much dirt on alec as possible

 **izzylightwood:** srsly magnus do not change his hair back before he finishes the story

 **jacewayland:** it's done

 **izzylightwood:** dammit magnus

 **claryfray:** srsly jace, what really happened on patrol

 **jacewayland:** sorry, i made alec a promise

 **claryfray:** u were just abt to break it a minute ago

 **jacewayland:** well now my hair's blonde so

 **claryfray:** i'm gonna pester u all patrol until u tell me

 **jacewayland:** u can try

 **izzylightwood:** hey clary, don't worry

 **izzylightwood:** i'll get out it of him later

 **maiaroberts:** if either of u do u better tell all of us

 **simonlewis:** agreed

 **claryfray:** awesome, so its a blood pact then

 **maiaroberts:** whoa

 **maiaroberts:** we were just cruising and then clary took this shit straight to level 100

 **claryfray:** actually, i took it gay to level 100

 **aleclightwood:** haha good one

 **claryfray:** thx

 **claryfray:** but srsly alec what did u do

 **aleclightwood:** i'm not telling u

 **claryfray:** bich

 **aleclightwood:** ,,

 **aleclightwood:** did u just call me a bitch

 **maiaroberts:** oh shit

 **jacewayland:** ur in for it now

 **aleclightwood:** u do realize i'm on patrol with u this morning too

 **claryfray:** uhhhhhhhh,,

 **magnusbane:** heads up biscuit, i just made alec a portal to the institute

 **simonlewis:** u better run fray

 **jacewayland:** rip clary

 **izzylightwood:** yeah, it was nice knowing u

 **claryfray:** hey ur supposed to have my back iz

 **izzylightwood:** even i know i can't protect u from this

 **izzylightwood:** i'll mourn u tho

 **jacewayland:** here lies clary fray, dead from putting her foot in her mouth one too many times

 **maiaroberts:** i'm surprised this isn't simon's epitaph

 **raphaelsantiago:** his will say that too

 **simonlewis:** wtf raphael

 **simonlewis:** do u just lay in wait on the gc for me to say sumthing u can insult me for

 **raphaelsantiago:** no

 **magnusbane:** he's lying, its exactly what he does

 **raphaelsantiago:** no, my bullshit meter just pings everytime simon opens his mouth

 **claryfray:** raphael pls come save me from alec's wrath

 **raphaelsantiago:** no

 **claryfray:** don't tell me ur scared of alec too

 **raphaelsantiago:** i've got better things to do than interfere in your dumb feud

 **claryfray:** like what

 **raphaelsantiago:** virtually anything else that doesn't involve you stupid nephilim

 **izzylightwood:** yet here u r on the gc

 **jacewayland:** and this gc has half shadowhunters and half downworlders so

 **claryfray:** shit, alec's spotted me

 **aleclightwood:** no one can save u now

 **jacewayland:** anyone want to start her funeral arrangements

 **maiaroberts:** we can hold her wake at the hunters moon

 **izzylightwood:** i'll write her speech as the grieving gf

 **simonlewis:** and i can tell funny stories abt her childhood

 **claryfray:** u all r the worst


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> claryfray: simon ur dead to me
> 
> simonlewis: undead actually
> 
> maiaroberts: haha, good one

**claryfray:** omg u guys, i just filmed jace running into a wall

**claryfray:** video attached

**lydiabranwell:** i think u posted the wrong vid clary

**maiaroberts:** OMG CLARY UR THE WORST

**simonlewis:** I HATE U SO MUCH

**izzylightwood:** clary u suk

**magnusbane:** i cannot believe that i, a centuries old warlock, fell for that

**jacewayland:** haha, i was gonna say, i didn't think u had footage of that

**claryfray:** wait, so u have run into a wall

**jacewayland:** ,,

**jacewayland:** no comment

**izzylightwood:** srsly jace

**maiaroberts:** yeah, when did this happen

**jacewayland:** hey can we get back to the fact that 1, lydia is on the gc and 2, has never been rick rolled

**claryfray:** hiya

**aleclightwood:** hi lydia

**simonlewis:** hello

**izzylightwood:** yeah, hey lydia

**lydiabranwell:** hey

**izzylightwood:** have u srsly never been rick rolled before

**lydiabranwell:** well, i'm not entirely sure what that is so prolly not

**simonlewis:** how can u not know what that is ??????????

**jacewayland:** i'm putting this failure on maia

**claryfray:** yeah, teach ur gf abt memes

**maiaroberts:** there are more important things to talk abt

**claryfray:** ???????? like

**aleclightwood:** don't mind clary

**aleclightwood:** magnus and i went on a double date with them once and her and izzy just yelled memes at each other the whole time

**magnusbane:** its tru

**izzylightwood:** damn right we did

**claryfray:** that was a good time

**claryfray:** we should do that more often

**aleclightwood:** absolutely not

**claryfray:** :(((

**simonlewis:** jace, why haven't we gone on a double date with them

**jacewayland:** with clary and izzy or magnus and alec

**simonlewis:** clary and izzy obv

**simonlewis:** alec still sorta scares me

**claryfray:** YESSSSSSSSSSSSS

**claryfray:** WE SHOULD TOTALLY DO A DOUBLE DATE WITH JIMON

**izzylightwood:** heck yeah

**simonlewis:** what do u think jace

**jacewayland:** could be fun

**jacewayland:** that way u could tell a bunch of those embarrassing stories u were saving for clary's wake the other day

**izzylightwood:** omg, pls do

**claryfray:** i think the FUCK not

**simonlewis:** uh...

 **jacewayland:** how abt we do anyway

 **simonlewis:** absolutely

 **claryfray:** simon ur dead to me

 **simonlewis:** undead actually

 **maiaroberts:** haha, good one

**claryfray:** u forget simon that ur not the only one with dirt

**claryfray:** i could tell jace stories that u will never be able to live down

**maiaroberts:** oh boy

**izzylightwood:** i can't wait for this date

**jacewayland:** yeah, looks like its gonna be straight up war btwn clary and simon

**aleclightwood:** actually its gonna be gay up war

**claryfray:** nice one alec

**aleclightwood:** thx

**simonlewis:** hey i don't want to start a war with clary

**claryfray:** too late we're already there

**simonlewis:** take it back

**claryfray:** no

**izzylightwood:** yeah, u know what they say, go hard or go home

**simonlewis:** i wanna go home

 **jacewayland:** ofc u do, i'm there

 **maiaroberts:** WAIT WHAT

 **maiaroberts:** r u and simon living together

 **jacewayland:** r u kidding

 **jacewayland:** like i love simon but i'm not living in a boathouse

 **jacewayland:** i just popped over and am waiting for him to get back

**simonlewis:** why didn't u say anything

**jacewayland:** u said u were in a meeting with the clan

**simonlewis:** i was

**magnusbane:** so raphael was just letting u text during the meeting

**raphaelsantiago:** yes its easier

**raphaelsantiago:** otherwise he would have opened his mouth and lily or i might have been tempted to kill him

**aleclightwood:** haha

**raphaelsantiago:** lily says hi alec  


**aleclightwood:** HI LILY

**jacewayland:** i still don't get that friendship at all

**claryfray:** i don't think any of us do

**aleclightwood:** fuk u i'm a likable person

**magnusbane:** yeah u r ;)

**aleclightwood:** awwww, thx babe

**claryfray:** haha, that's gay

**aleclightwood:** i'm gay

**claryfray:** not according to many straights

**aleclightwood:** too bad,, still gay

**claryfray:** a straight prbly: nOt iN tHIs HouSE u aRen't

**aleclightwood:** ...

**aleclightwood:** ok, im gayer now and also ur worst nightmare

 **maiaroberts:** FUCK

**magnusbane:** OMG ALEC

**izzylightwood:** clary just did an actual spit take wit her coke

**simonlewis:** AHAHAHA

**jacewayland:** i didn't know that happened outside of movies

**simonlewis:** u clearly haven't spent enough time with clary

**izzylightwood:** srsly tho, clary is still wheezing

**izzylightwood:** i think u broke her alec

**aleclightwood:** it was bound to happen eventually

**jacewayland:** now will u tell us those embarrassing stories abt clary

**maiaroberts:** pls

**izzylightwood:** do it quick clary is starting to gain her composure

**jacewayland:** just one story, pls

**simonlewis:** well...

**claryfray:** don't u dare SIMON

**izzylightwood:** and she's back

**claryfray:** srsly simon i know things that could end u

**simonlewis:** u aren't wrong

**simonlewis:** can we call a truce

**claryfray:** fine, but only bc ur my bestie

**simonlewis:** ily fray

**claryfray:** luv u too

**izzylightwood:** i'm a lil sad abt this resolution

**maiaroberts:** me too

**jacewayland:** yeah, i wanted some blackmail material

**claryfray:** sux to be u

**claryfray:** and don't even think of asking simon in private... bros b4 hoes

**jacewayland:** ????????? did u just call me a hoe

**simonlewis:** CLARY

**claryfray:** sry jace, i didn't mean it like that

**jacewayland:** u better have not, that is blatant slut shaming

**maiaroberts:** there goes clary again putting her foot in mouth

**izzylightwood:** i'm not even gonna be surprised when clary is found dead in the near future

**simonlewis:** alec yesterday, jace today... who r u gonna insult tomorrow

**claryfray:** only time will tell

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your wonderful comments and kudos on this silly little fic! If you wanna come yell at me about Shadowhunters or just say hi, you can find me on tumblr [here.](http://www.perfectlyambiguous.tumblr.com)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> izzylightwood: there isn't gonna be a dry eye there
> 
> aleclightwood: yeah, jace is gonna bawl like a baby
> 
> simonlewis: why r u roasting jace when he can't defend himself
> 
> aleclightwood: bc i can

**aleclightwood:** QUEEN ALINE IS BACK

 **aleclightwood:** image attached

 **izzylightwood:** FINALLY

 **claryfray:** ADD HER NOW

 **alinepenhallow:** i'm already here

 **claryfray:** WHAT A PLOT TWIST

 **izzylightwood:** yeah, just how long have u been creeping on the chat

 **alinepenhallow:** not long

 **alinepenhallow:** alec added me last night

 **maiaroberts:** hi aline

 **alinepenhallow:** hey maia

 **simonlewis:** hey aline i have a quick question for u

 **alinepenhallow:** go for it

 **simonlewis:** why is alec always the first to know when ur in town

 **aleclightwood:** lesbian/gay solidarity

 **aleclightwood:** and she just loves me that much

 **alinepenhallow:** :)))

 **izzylightwood:** i'm surprised ur here with the wedding so close

 **maiaroberts:** yeah, how excited r u for the big day next week

 **alinepenhallow:** i'm ecstatic

 **alinepenhallow:** i sometimes have to pinch myself i can't believe it's finally happening

 **claryfray:** its gonna be so perfect

 **izzylightwood:** there isn't gonna be a dry eye there

 **aleclightwood:** yeah, jace is gonna bawl like a baby

 **simonlewis:** why r u roasting jace when he can't defend himself

 **aleclightwood:** bc i can

 **claryfray:** ok, but real talk, alec's totally gonna be the one ugly sobbing

 **izzylightwood:** truth

 **aleclightwood:** um... excuse me ???????????

 **aleclightwood:** i have never ugly cried in my entire life

 **aleclightwood:** but if i do so at aline's wedding so what

 **aleclightwood:** aline is getting MARRIED

 **izzylightwood:** i bet alec's getting teary eyed just thinking abt it

 **aleclightwood:** shut up izzy

 **izzylightwood:** srsly magnus u better bring tissues for him

 **magnusbane:** i will

 **magnusbane:** tho i do raise a complaint with the term ugly crying

 **magnusbane:** alec never looks anything other than beautiful

 **aleclightwood:** awww, magnus stop..

 **aleclightwood:** ur the beautiful one

 **magnusbane:** don't argue wit me, ur beautiful and i love u

 **aleclightwood:** i love you too  <3

 **maiaroberts:** srsly u two r incredible

 **claryfray:** they really r sumthing else ;)

 **izzylightwood:** a winky face clary

 **izzylightwood:** is there sumthing ur not telling me

 **magnusbane:** pls don't start this again

 **magnusbane:** it's just gonna set alec off

 **aleclightwood:** yeah, don't even think abt shipping me with clary

 **aleclightwood:** that's homophobic

 **claryfray:** yeah, ur crossing a line here iz

 **claryfray:** i have never had a heterosexual thought in my entire life, check the receipts

 **simonlewis:** its true, she hasn't

 **simonlewis:** remember ur crush in freshmen year on alecia

 **claryfray:** oh god do i

 **simonlewis:** u literally cried the day she graduated

 **alinepenhallow:** u didn't

 **claryfray:** oh i did

 **izzylightwood:** omg ur such a sap clary

 **claryfray:** leave me alone, she was my first big crush

 **izzylightwood:** should i be jealous

 **claryfray:** nope

 **claryfray:** tho i do have this crush on a certain beautiful black-haired woman who is quick with a quip and her whip

 **simonlewis:** awwwwww

 **maiaroberts:** u all r so romantic today

 **izzylightwood:** u really r a sap clary

 **claryfray:** u love it

 **aleclightwood:** gags

 **claryfray:** stuff it alec

 **izzylightwood:** yeah u have no room to talk after what u and magnus just did

 **izzylightwood:** u two r so sickeningly sweet it gives us all tooth rot

 **aleclightwood:** tooth rot ????

 **aleclightwood:** wtf is this the 1700s

 **magnusbane:** hey, some of us were alive back then

 **magnusbane:** and by us, i mean me

 **aleclightwood:** i'm sorry

 **aleclightwood:** i didn't mean it as an insult to u

 **magnusbane:** i know

 **magnusbane:** and don't worry, there's no love lost btwn me and the 1700s

 **simonlewis:** r u ever gonna tell us when u were born

 **magnusbane:** no

 **claryfray:** alec knows

 **magnusbane:** yeah ????? and ??????

 **jacewayland:** srsly u guys, i'm gone for two hours and aline's back on the chat and alec is already insulting me

 **aleclightwood:** well what did u expect

 **claryfray:** yeah, welcome to the gc

 **izzylightwood:** bawhaha

 **simonlewis:** hey, b4 we get too sidetracked can we get back to talking abt the wedding weekend

 **jacewayland:** YES we're all so excited aline

 **alinepenhallow:** me too :)))

 **simonlewis:** so when r we all getting there

 **magnusbane:** i'm portaling us all there the day before

 **izzylightwood:** yeah, we're gonna have such a blast in la

 **claryfray:** should be fun, i've never been

 **maiaroberts:** that's why we're going a day early to sight see

 **claryfray:** noice

 **jacewayland:** what time r we portaling there again

 **magnusbane:** next friday at ten

 **izzylightwood:** clary and i will remind jace and simon since they literally can't seem remember anything abt it

 **jacewayland:** rude, but tru

 **simonlewis:** this is gonna be amazing, i've always wanted to see la

 **claryfray:** same, we just have to make sure no one gets lost

 **izzylightwood:** yeah, alec has a tendency to wander off

 **aleclightwood:** WHAT

 **aleclightwood:** aside from magnus, i'm probly the most responsible one in the group

 **aleclightwood:** we should be more concerned for jace

 **jacewayland:** pls, ur totally gonna get lost

 **jacewayland:** u know where the institute is and nothing else

 **claryfray:** don't worry fam

 **claryfray:** i know what to do if we lose alec

 **maiaroberts:** what do we do

 **claryfray:** someone just needs to yell “magnus bane is the absolute worst” and alec will be there

 **aleclightwood:** why would u ever say something like that

 **izzylightwood:** omg, that'll totally work

 **jacewayland:** yeah it will

 **jacewayland:** last week i made one tiny comment abt magnus not showing up on time and i shit u not alec came out of nowhere to defend him

 **aleclightwood:** well u were being unfairly harsh to magnus

 **aleclightwood:** he had a client right before meeting us

 **magnusbane:** oh my hero

 **claryfray:** again if u lose alec, just yell something insulting abt magnus and he'll appear

 **aleclightwood:** u can find ur own portal to la

 **claryfray:** luv u too alec

 **claryfray:** raphael it's up to u to keep an eye on things when we leave

 **jacewayland:** how do u even know if raphael is on the chat

 **claryfray:** cuz raphael is totally the one guy on the gc who never says anything but reads everything

 **magnusbane:** i can confirm that

 **izzylightwood:** come on raphael... talk to us

 **claryfray:** yeah, we don't bite

 **simonlewis:** but raphael does

 **raphaelsantiago:** i do

 **raphaelsantiago:** and do you even know how much black mail material i have on every single one of you

 **claryfray:** tons, obv

 **claryfray:** anyway, new york will be in ur hands when we leave

 **jacewayland:** that makes raphael sound like a superhero

 **maiaroberts:** well, he wears all black and only comes out a night so..

 **simonlewis:** omg, ur right

 **simonlewis:** he's like an asexual batman

 **raphaelsantiago:** never say, type or think those words ever again

 **izzylightwood:** RAPHAEL IS AN ASEXUAL BATMAN

 **maiaroberts:** omg

 **claryfray:** and GUYS HE'S A VAMPIRE... LIKE A BAT !!!!!!!

 **claryfray:** THIS FITS SO WELL

 **raphaelsantiago:** we can't even turn into bats, that's a myth

 **magnusbane:** don't even try to reason with her

 **aleclightwood:** yea, its useless

 **maiaroberts:** alright so we have gay hero alec and asexual batman raphael

 **claryfray:** yeah we do

 **izzylightwood:** we're so proud of u two

 **raphaelsantiago:** this is the precise reason i don't talk on the gc

 **raphaelsantiago:** i'm leaving now

 **simonlewis:** ok goodbye raphael

 **claryfray:** yeah, have fun superheroing

 **raphaelsantiago:** dios, ur exhausting

 **aleclightwood:** she truly is

 **claryfray:** all in a days work

 **claryfray:** wait.. does that mean i'm a superhero too ???????

 **jacewayland:** no

 **aleclightwood:** no

 **raphaelsantiago:** no

 **izzylightwood:** nah

 **maiaroberts:** no

 **simonlewis:** nope

 **claryfray:** ,,

 **claryfray:** well, at least we can all agree abt it


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> claryfray: …is that a challenge ???
> 
> claryfray: i'll have u know that i've never lost a direct challenge b4
> 
> simonlewis: that's false,
> 
> simonlewis: just last week jace challenged u to a sparring match and u lost
> 
> claryfray: well,,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, this chapter talks about alcohol/drinking a lot, so skip this one if that kinda content bothers you, otherwise enjoy!

**jacewayland:** um, guys i need some help at the hunters moon

 **izzylightwood:** wat happened

 **jacewayland:** ur bro

 **izzylightwood:** technically he's our bro

 **jacewayland:** not 2nite he's not

 **maiaroberts:** oh shit

 **simonlewis:** wat did he do

 **jacewayland:** he got drunk

 **jacewayland:** very, very drunk

 **izzylightwood:** oh no

 **magnusbane:** i'm on my way

 **simonlewis:** why did u let him drink so much

 **jacewayland:** i didn't let him do anything

 **aleclightwood:** YEA IM MYY OWN PERSON

 **claryfray:** hey alec, i hear ur drunk af

 **aleclightwood:** fuk u fray

 **claryfray:** ,,

 **claryfray:** i don't notice a difference btwn sober and drunk alec

 **jacewayland:** that's bc u haven't mentioned magnus yet

 **jacewayland:** i just listened to a ten minute tangent on how beautiful magnus' eyes r

 **aleclightwood:** well they r sooo beatful

 **claryfray:** beatful ?????

 **aleclightwood:** THEY R

 **izzylightwood:** yeah, drunk alec can't spell for shit

 **maiaroberts:** oh pls, that is nothing

 **maiaroberts:** i literally watched to alec go on abt the outfit magnus wore for the reopening of pandemonium for a solid hour

 **maiaroberts:** even when i went to deal with other customers, alec just continued to talk to thin air abt it

 **izzylightwood:** that was an iconic look

 **claryfray:** OH MY GOD I REMEMBER THAT

 **claryfray:** ALEC WAS AN ABSOLUTE STUTTERING MESS WHEN MAGNUS WALKED IN

 **jacewayland:** guys maybe don't bring that up rn

 **izzylightwood:** why not

 **jacewayland:** bc now alec is literally crying abt how perfect magnus looked in that outfit

 **claryfray:** OMG

 **jacewayland:** srsly magnus where tf r u

 **simonlewis:** hang in there jace

 **izzylightwood:** yeah, just give him a hug or sumthing

 **jacewayland:** i am

 **simonlewis:** awwww, ur such a great bro

 **claryfray:** yeah, even if u did let alec get super drunk

 **jacewayland:** oh thank raziel, magnus is finally here

 **claryfray** **:** what's happening

 **jacewayland:** alec just noticed magnus and is crying harder

 **claryfray:** NO

 **jacewayland:** yea, magnus is trying to get him to stand up and alec is just clinging to him telling him he's so pretty

 **izzylightwood:** oh my god, alec is gonna have a killer hangover 2morrow

 **maiaroberts:** most definitely

 **jacewayland:** ok, magnus finally got him up by telling him he'd rather cuddle wit alec at home

 **claryfray:** oh wow..

 **claryfray:** so 2nite i learned that alec is a sappy drunk

 **izzylightwood:** very much so

 **maiaroberts:** and we know luke is a happy drunk

 **izzylightwood:** and jace is a brooding drunk

 **jacewayland:** so is maia

 **maiaroberts:** truth

 **jacewayland:** simon is a talkative drunk

 **claryfray:** accurate

 **claryfray:** izzy is a horny drunk

 **maiaroberts:** omg clary

 **jacewayland:** tmi dude, that's my sis ur talking abt

 **claryfray:** well it's tru

 **izzylightwood:** clary is a sleepy drunk

 **claryfray:** hey,

 **claryfray:** i'll have u know i'm the fun drunk, just ask aline

 **izzylightwood:** fine, u can b both

 **maiaroberts** : what abt magnus

 **claryfray:** magnus never gets drunk

 **jacewayland:** um... did u forget aline's engagement celebration

 **claryfray:** OH SHIT UR RIGHT

 **claryfray:** that would make magnus the wildcard drunk then

 **simonlewis:** glad we got that sorted, i guess

 **claryfray:** its a very important personality test simon

 **claryfray:** it tells a lot abt a person

 **maiaroberts:** as someone who works in a bar, i can't argue wit that

 **jacewayland:** hey what's lydia like drunk

 **maiaroberts:** she gets really deep and philosophical

 **simonlewis:** u know, that doesn't surprise me in the slightest

 **izzylightwood:** so we've figured out everyone but raphael then

 **izzylightwood:** hey simon, what kinda drunk is he

 **simonlewis:** i literally have no idea

 **simonlewis:** i've never actually seen him get drunk

 **izzylightwood:** HEY RAPHAEL WHAT KINDA DRUNK R U

 **izzylightwood:** ,,

 **claryfray:** don't b rude raphael

 **claryfray:** my gf asked u a q

 **simonlewis:** maybe he's not on the gc

 **claryfray:** ur right, he's probly too busy superheroing

 **raphaelsantiago:** seriously guys, give that a rest

 **izzylightwood:** I KNEW U WERE ON HERE

 **izzylightwood:** now answer the q

 **raphaelsantiago:** no

 **claryfray:** we could always get u drunk and see for ourselves

 **raphaelsantiago:** that would never happen

 **izzylightwood:** we could always ask magnus

 **raphaelsantiago:** he'd never tell

 **claryfray:** i can be very persuasive

 **jacewayland:** if by persuasive u mean annoying

 **claryfray:** get rekt jace

 **raphaelsantiago:** i've known magnus for over half a century

 **raphaelsantiago:** he'd never give up my secrets

 **claryfray:** …is that a challenge ???

 **claryfray:** i'll have u know that i've never lost a direct challenge b4

 **simonlewis:** that's false,

 **simonlewis:** just last week jace challenged u to a sparring match and u lost

 **claryfray:** well,,

 **simonlewis:** i mean, its not ur fault really, he's just that good

 **jacewayland:** don't u know it ;)

 **claryfray:** u guys r real cute and all but ur not helping my case

 **maiaroberts:** why do u need to know so bad

 **claryfray:** i just do.. it's for science

 **raphaelsantiago:** still not telling u

 **claryfray:** boo

 **izzylightwood:** don't worry babe, i got the solution

 **claryfray:** what is it

 **izzylightwood:** how abt u come to my room and i'll show u ;)

 **simonlewis:** whoa

 **jacewayland:** srsly iz, that's what dm is for

 **izzylightwood:** don't b a prude jace

 **jacewayland:** i'm not a prude

 **claryfray:** oh yeah.. prove it

 **jacewayland:** FINE I WILL

 **simonlewis:** that's not gonna accomplish anything except getting me laid

 **claryfray:** i know, ur welcome btw

 **maiaroberts:** omfg

 **simonlewis:** ur the best wing man ever

 **claryfray:** hey what r best friends for

 **claryfray:** have a nice night simon.. i know i will ;)


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> claryfray: ur such a badass magnus
> 
> magnusbane: i'm not the high warlock of brooklyn just for my looks
> 
> aleclightwood: tho u could be ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so no shadowhunters til april 3rd... i'm just gonna die in the mean time. anyways, enjoy this update :)

**izzylightwood:** alec

 **izzylightwood:** oh alec,,

 **aleclightwood:** wat

 **izzylightwood:** how's ur hangover

 **aleclightwood:** um,, wat hangover

 **claryfray:** we all know u got plastered last nite

 **aleclightwood:** srsly jace, u told them

 **jacewayland:** i needed someone to help pick u up

 **aleclightwood:** then call magnus not inform the whole gc abt it

 **claryfray:** don't be embarrassed alec, ur all cute n loveable when ur drunk

 **aleclightwood:** shut up fray

 **izzylightwood:** i bet he's blushing rn

 **izzylightwood:** magnus is he blushing

 **magnusbane:** wouldn't u like to know

 **izzylightwood:** that's a yes then

 **claryfray:** srsly we all need to go out drinking together stat

 **aleclightwood:** no

 **claryfray:** fine,, then we'll stay in and drink together

 **izzylightwood:** omg yes and then we could play drinking games

 **maiaroberts:** i'd be down for that

 **jacewayland:** me too

 **claryfray:** magnus would u be willing to host it

 **magnusbane:** sure, tho fair warning, i will drink u all under the table

 **claryfray:** noted, can u invite raphael, i need to see him drunk

 **magnusbane:** i don't think u'll succeed

 **claryfray:** why not

 **magnusbane:** cause i can count on one hand the amt of times i've seen him drunk in my whole life

 **claryfray:** i'm up for the challenge, just name the day and time and i'll be there

 **simonlewis:** um clary,, ur aware this isn't a duel, right

 **claryfray:** the two things r virtually indistinguishable

 **aleclightwood:** false

 **claryfray:** have u even been in an honest to goodness duel before

 **aleclightwood:** i'm a shadowhunter fray

 **claryfray:** outside of that, i mean

 **aleclightwood:** have u ????

 **claryfray:** well no,, but i've watched movies

 **magnusbane:** that's not the same thing at all

 **claryfray:** wait does that mean u've been in a duel b4

 **magnusbane:** duh

 **simonlewis:** wait, REALLY

 **magnusbane:** yes really

 **jacewayland:** when did this happen

 **magnusbane:** which one

 **maiaroberts:** DAMNNNNNN BOI

 **aleclightwood:** yeah, my bf's a bamf, deal with it

 **izzylightwood:** u don't need to convince me, i saw him take down a whole hoard of mantid demons pretty much singlehandedly

 **aleclightwood:** don't forget when he took out those wraith demons WHILE closing the singularity

 **claryfray:** ur such a badass magnus

 **magnusbane:** i'm not the high warlock of brooklyn just for my looks

 **aleclightwood:** tho u could be ;)

 **simonlewis:** is alec still drunk

 **izzylightwood:** nah, he always busts a nut over his all powerful bae

 **jacewayland:** IZZY

 **izzylightwood:** well it's true, right alec

 **aleclightwood:** yeah it is

 **jacewayland:** omg, u r still drunk

 **aleclightwood:** nope, but since u blabbed abt me last night, making u uncomfortable with my sex life is fair play

 **jacewayland:** well stop it, i still have to believe ur innocent

 **aleclightwood:** um,, magnus and i live together

 **aleclightwood:** i'm def having more sex than u

 **jacewayland:** ok, u've made ur point alec

 **aleclightwood:** actually, i don't think i have, but i'm abt to show my point to magnus ;)

 **izzylightwood:** jace just threw his phone across the room

 **izzylightwood:** OMG I'M ASLDKFJA;SL

 **maiaroberts:** whatttt

 **izzylightwood:** sorry, i'm

 **magnusbane:** isabelle r u ok

 **simonlewis:** i think he broke izzy

 **izzylightwood:** no, but jace's phone is, he actually broke his fuking phone

 **izzylightwood:** image attached

 **maiaroberts:** haha it's literally in pieces

 **claryfray:** u broke jace's phone with a dick joke

 **claryfray:** actual legend alec lightwood

 **aleclightwood:** he had it coming

 **maiaroberts:** wait, didn't he throw his phone the time u played the duck prank on him

 **claryfray:** yep

 **simonlewis:** yeah it's kinda his natural reaction to things he doesn't like

 **simonlewis:** wait,, does this mean i can't text him :(

 **magnusbane:** talk to him in person siamese

 **simonlewis:** did u just call me a cat ???????

 **claryfray:** he owns abt fifty cats, so that's a complement

 **magnusbane:** i don't own any of them

 **magnusbane:** they come to my apartment on their own because they love me

 **maiaroberts:** and u feed them

 **magnusbane:** true

 **aleclightwood:** they love u anyway

 **magnusbane:** ur so sweet

 **claryfray:** hey aren't u two supposed to be banging

 **maiaroberts:** clary, didn't u get enough ppl laid yesterday

 **claryfray:** no such thing

 **claryfray:** except in raphael's case

 **magnusbane:** ur sweet biscuit but i don't need u to be my wingman

 **aleclightwood:** yeah magnus is hot enough to be his own wingman

 **izzylightwood:** can't argue with that, he's smoking

 **claryfray:** HEY

 **aleclightwood:** DON'T HIT ON MY BF

 **izzylightwood:** i'm not hitting on him, but he is very attractive

 **claryfray:** ur forgiven this time, bc ur right

 **aleclightwood:** um,, ur a lesbian fray

 **claryfray:** and ?????

 **claryfray:** i have eyes lightwood and magnus is def the hot friend in the group along with izzy

 **izzylightwood:** hell yeah we are

 **magnusbane:** i'll drink to that

 **simonlewis:** it's morning magnus

 **magnusbane:** yeah,, so

 **izzylightwood:** ok, i gotta go help jace buy a new phone

 **claryfray:** ok, bye

 **claryfray:** and rip jace's phone

 **claryfray:** it lived a long happy life before it was murdered dead by alec's dick joke

 **maiaroberts:** may it live on in infamy

 **aleclightwood:** ave atque vale

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jaceherondale: i never thought i'd see clary get rid of her old lockscreen
> 
> izzylightwood: me either, she would literally burst out laughing everytime she looked at her phone
> 
> claryfray: i could always change it back to the pic of ur murdered cellphone if u want
> 
> jaceherondale: no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so [these](https://78.media.tumblr.com/5c6ac39a2b09d8ff96ab18d9e7c30ab4/tumblr_oxmtdt6VmE1r6z9c6o1_1280.jpg) [pictures](https://78.media.tumblr.com/1daf15360aa7654c0d5c191c3af8a479/tumblr_oxmtdt6VmE1r6z9c6o2_1280.jpg) of one of alec's season 3 outfits were the inspiration for this chapter. let fancy alec rise in season 3.
> 
> also i think this is my longest chapter yet.

**claryfray:** hey jace how r u

 **jaceherondale:** new phone who diss

 **claryfray:** u can't say that bc u already know who this is

 **claryfray:** and actually we should be saying it to u mr jace herondale

 **jaceherondale:** eh, new phone, new name

 **jaceherondale:** also i can't believe u held a funeral for my old phone

 **magnusbane:** why wouldn't we

 **claryfray:** yeah, ur phone deserved a proper send off

 **jaceherondale:** ok, but u guys literally threw it a wake too

 **maiaroberts:** yeah ??????? and ???????

 **jaceherondale:** and u made it a fucking PLAQUE

 **izzylightwood:** well, we needed a monument to immortalize what happened

 **magnusbane:** yeah, be glad it isn't hung up at the scene of the crime

 **jaceherondale:** no instead its just sitting in alec's office

 **aleclightwood:** and i look at it and smile everyday

 **jaceherondale:** i can't even with u bro

 **jaceherondale:** ur the reason this all happened

 **aleclightwood:** a fact i'm insanely proud of

 **claryfray:** WTFFFFFFFFF ALEC AD;FLKASDJ;F;KLASDFJKLDFAS;

 **simonlewis:** wat now

 **claryfray:** HOLY SHIT HAVE U SEEN ALEC TODAY

 **jaceherondale:** no why

 **claryfray:** CAUSE HE JUST WALKED INTO THE INSTITUTE LOOKING DAPPER AF

 **claryfray:** image attached

 **izzylightwood:** HOLY SHIT bro u look good

 **aleclightwood:** thanks iz

 **maiaroberts:** i'm actually surprised magnus let u go looking like that

 **magnusbane:** who said i let him go without a fight

 **izzylightwood:** yeah, didn't u tell me u were gonna be here at 7 today

 **aleclightwood:** i can neither confirm or deny

 **izzylightwood:** that's a big fat yes then, haHA

 **jaceherondale:** hang on, is that one of magnus' shirts

 **aleclightwood:** no, tho i did buy it with magnus

 **maiaroberts:** u look super fancy, it suits u :)

 **aleclightwood:** thx maia

 **aleclightwood:** gotta let the straights know i'm superior to them

 **claryfray:** there's our gay hero,,, back at it again

 **claryfray:** also i honestly can't believe ur THAT couple

 **aleclightwood:** what couple

 **claryfray:** the kind that starts talking and acting like one another, like ur one person

 **izzylightwood:** really ??????

 **izzylightwood:** i called that shit from the first day

 **claryfray:** to be fair, u also called jace and me from day 1

 **simonlewis:** r u serious, haha

 **clarfray:** yeah it was the same day she pegged magnus and alec as a couple

 **maiaroberts:** no way

 **claryfray:** oh yeah, she played herself in a big way

 **izzylightwood:** well, it wasn't like i knew u were a lesbian

 **magnusbane:** so i take it clary was the first to make a move then

 **claryfray:** u'd be right

 **claryfray:** u'd also be right to think izzy was shook when i did

 **izzylightwood:** a pretty girl who i thought had a thing for my bro just asked me out

 **izzylightwood:** ofc i was shook, my gaydar failed me

 **jaceherondale:** for shame

 **claryfray:** yeah, ur bi card is being revoked as we speak

 **izzylightwood:** u can't do that

 **claryfray:** why not

 **izzylightwood:** bc u'd lose me as a gf

 **claryfray:** ,, touche

 **claryfray:** also, alec, ur new look is now my lockscreen

 **magnusbane:** me too

 **magnusbane:** i didn't know we had so much in common

 **jaceherondale:** i never thought i'd see clary get rid of her old lockscreen

 **izzylightwood:** me either, she would literally burst out laughing everytime she looked at her phone

 **claryfray:** i could always change it back to the pic of ur murdered cellphone if u want

 **jaceherondale:** no

 **claryfray:** then dapper alec stays

 **claryfray:** srsly u look great

 **izzylightood:** yeah, magnus is really rubbing off on u

 **simonlewis:** izzy,,, why would u make a set up like that

 **jaceherondale:** I SEE U TYPING ALEC

 **jaceherondale:** srsly,, pls don't

 **aleclightwood:** fine, but only bc just got a ur new phone

 **jaceherondale:** thank u

 **aleclightwood:** besides it was me rubbing off on magnus this morning

 **maiaroberts:** GOD

 **claryfray:** i'm fucking choking just imagining the look on jace's face

 **jaceherondale:** i'm literally gonna remove myself from the gc

 **claryfray:** go ahead,, DO IT

 **jaceherondale:** why am i getting this hatred 2day

 **claryfray:** u know i'm just kidding

 **jaceherondale:** r u ???? r u really ??????

 **claryfray:** yeh, ur my fav bi remember

 **jaceherondale:** good

 **claryfray:** :)

 **claryfray:** just so u know this doesn't mean i'm gonna go easy on u during sparring today

 **jaceherondale:** u ??????? not going easy on me ??????? ur such a jokester fray

 **simonlewis:** i'd be careful jace, especially if sparring involves knives

 **claryfray:** really this again ?????????

 **claryfray:** i said i'm sorry, simon

 **simonlewis:** ok, miss stabby stab

 **claryfray:** geez, u accidentally stab ur bff one time...

 **magnusbane:** wait, u did what to siberia

 **simonlewis:** siberia ?????? rlly magnus

 **simonlewis:** do u come up with these names on fly or do u have a list

 **magnusbane:** no comment

 **maiaroberts:** WAIT U STABBED SIMON ??????????? WHEN ???????

 **claryfray:** yeah,,,, on friday

 **aleclightwood:** ur a menace fray

 **claryfray:** in my defense, he snuck up on me and i just sorta,, panicked

 **jaceherondale:** yeh, i still can't believe u did that

 **claryfray:** he's a vamp, he's fine

 **simonlewis:** while that's tru, it still hurt

 **claryfray:** hey i bought u a cake that said 'sorry for stabbing you'

 **simonlewis:** it was a good cake

 **maiaroberts:** ur kidding abt the cake right

 **simonlewis:** nope, hang on i have a pic

 **simonlewis:** image attached

 **izzylightwood:** i didn't know u bought him an apology cake, haha

 **maiaroberts:** omg clary ur nuts

 **claryfray:** how else do u say sorry for stabbing u bff

 **aleclightwood:** idk, don't stab them maybe

 **jaceherondale:** pls, alec, u've nicked me in training before

 **aleclightwood:** i've never stabbed u tho

 **jaceherondale:** tru

 **aleclightwood:** well it seems simon needs a new bff who won't stab him

 **claryfray:** WHAT

 **simonlewis:** wait, alec r u actually talking to me civilly and giving me advice ??????

 **aleclightwood:** ??????? is that a prob

 **simonlewis:** no, i'm just surprised

 **izzylightwood:** i think alec and simon r now bffs

 **aleclightwood:** stay in ur lane, izzy

 **claryfray:** no simon u can't do this to me

 **simonlewis:** u literally stabbed me

 **claryfray:** i bought u an apology cake ffs

 **claryfray:** and alec doesn't even like u

 **aleclightwood:** just for that, simon and me r bffs now

 **simonlewis:** rlly

 **aleclightwood:** no, but we could be tentative friends

 **simonlewis:** isn't that what we were b4 ??????

 **aleclightwood:** ,,

 **aleclightwood:** sure

 **maiaroberts:** ok, so this has been a wild convo, but luke needs me, gtg

 **jaceherondale:** bye maia, we still on for drinks tonite

 **maiaroberts:** def :)

 **jaceherondale:** cool, i'm gonna go kick clary's ass for stabbing simon

 **simonlewis:** send pics

 **jaceherondale:** u know i will ;)

 **simonlewis:** ily

 **jaceherondale:** ilu 2

 **claryfray:** haha, that's gay

 **aleclightwood:** bitch me too, the fuck

 **izzylightwood:** haha

 **claryfray:** that never gets old

 **jaceherondale:** neither does kicking ur ass,, get to the training room

 **claryfray:** yeah, yeah, i'm on my way

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> claryfray: wait... don't tell me shadowhunters don't celebrate halloween
> 
> aleclightwood: halloween ????? never heard of her
> 
> claryfray: srsly, i will turn in my gear rn if ur not joking 
> 
> simonlewis: no u won't
> 
> claryfray: ,,no i won't, but it's halloween GUYS

**claryfray:** GUYS

**claryfray:** do u know what day it is

**jaceherondale:** uhhhhhhh... wednesday ?????

**claryfray:** i mean yeah,,,

**claryfray:** but also halloween's in like a WEEK

**claryfray:** wtf r we all doing

**aleclightwood:** what do u mean

**claryfray:** wait... don't tell me shadowhunters don't celebrate halloween

**aleclightwood:** halloween ????? never heard of her

**claryfray:** srsly, i will turn in my gear rn if ur not joking

**simonlewis:** no u won't

**claryfray:** ,,no i won't, but it's halloween GUYS

**izzylightwood:** clary, we literally go to pandemonium for halloween

**maiaroberts:** have been for years

**claryfray:** YES AWESOME

**jaceherondale:** yeah, it is, we've all been going even b4 alec started dating magnus

**claryfray:** NICE also alec ur canceled for being a dick abt halloween

**aleclightwood:** don't care

**magnusbane:** hold up, jace,, i've never invited u to my halloween bash b4

**jaceherondale:** ,,i may have unapologetically been crashing it for the past 5 years

**magnusbane:** r u serious

**jaceherondale:** what can i say, ur bashes r epic magnus

**aleclightwood:** damn right they r

**claryfray:** so, u alec izzy and maia have been going to these epic halloween bashes and never told me, FOR SHAME

**jaceherondale:** wait,, alec ??????? hahahaHA

**jaceherondale:** just imagine alec at magnus' halloween bash, i'm CHOKING

**aleclightwood:** go step on a lego barefoot jace

**izzylightwood:** clary, do u remember what my bro wore when we went to get ur memories back at pandemonium

**claryfray:** NO that was ages ago...

**magnusbane:** black pants and a denim shirt

**aleclightwood:** u remembered that ?????

**magnusbane:** it was the first time i saw u alec, ofc i remember

**izzylightwood:** u 2 r adorable.. but my point is THAT was alec's idea of a clubbing outfit

**aleclightwood:** back off izzy

**maiaroberts:** nah, she's right, u def dress better now

**claryfray:** agreed

**aleclightwood:** does that mean i'm uncanceled

**claryfray:** i thought u didn't care

**aleclightwood:** i literally don't

**izzylightwood:** ok but long story short, this is the first year alec will be attending

**jaceherondale:** yeh, he's not much of a partyer if u haven't noticed

**aleclightwood:** u all r gonna be so sad when u see me and magnus sitting in the vip booth and ur not

**izzylightwood** : i'm totally invited in the vip booth

**magnusbane:** naturally

**aleclightwood:** no magnus

**aleclightwood:** she's with clary by association who just canceled me, so no vip booth for u iz

**izzylightwood:** dammit clary, uncancel alec

**claryfray:** but whyyyyyyyyyyy

**aleclightwood:** bc i wanna sit in the vip booth and canceling him means i can't

**claryfray:** fine, alec ur uncanceled

**aleclightwood:** :)

**claryfray:** (ง'̀-'́)ง

**izzylightwood:** srsly, clary, don't get our vip privileges revoked already

**izzylightwood:** there's still a week left til halloween

**jaceherondale:** go ahead and get revoked, that just means more room for me, simon and maia

**aleclightwood:** lol, who says ur invited

**jaceherondale:** as parabatai u have to

**aleclightwood:** what

**jaceherondale:** for wither thou goest, i will go

**aleclightwood:** the oath doesn't extend to these circumstances

**jaceherondale:** they do and ur going back on ur oath

**aleclightwood:** too bad, so sad

**jaceherondale:** srsly alec,,, ur not my parabatai, ur just a parabaLIE

**claryfray:** OMG JACE

**magnusbane:** alec is honestly just sputtering

**magnusbane:** i've never seen him so offended

**jaceherondale:** well he should be

**izzylightwood:** real talk tho, how long have u been waiting to say that one

**jaceherondale:** i've been sitting on that one for like 4 years

**jaceherondale:** alec rarely lies abt shit to me so its been a long time coming

**maiaroberts:** and that wasn't even a lie

**claryfray:** yeah, he just won't let u sit in the booth with him

**jaceherondale:** pls, i just watched u retract ur statements abt alec to weasel ur way into the vip booth

**claryfray:** i only did it for izzy

**claryfray:** alec and i still have a blood feud

**simonlewis:** wat

**claryfray:** he insulted halloween, i can't let that go

**izzylightwood:** wow, i never thought u would be like this

**simonlewis:** yeah she basically just lives halloween to halloween

**claryfray:** u got that right

**claryfray:** i'm ready to go fuck a pumpkin i'm so pumped

**jaceherondale:** ugh, tmi clary

**maiaroberts:** yeah, i didn't need that visual either

**aleclightwood:** i say we lock her up in the basement of the institute until nov 1

**claryfray:** i'd annoy the guards 2 death if u did

**aleclightwood:** it'd be worth it to never hear ur feelings abt halloween ever again

**claryfray:** u can't blame me for being horny for halloween

**aleclightwood** has removed **claryfray** from the group chat

**jaceherondale:** my longest yeah boi ever

**jaceherondale:** srsly thank u alec

**maiaroberts:** ur a tru lifesaver

**simonlewis:** u know she'll be back and worse than ever

**aleclightwood:** no she won't

**aleclightwood:** as head of the ny institute clary fairchild is hereby banned from the gc til nov

**jaceherondale:** she's gonna be insufferable for days

**aleclightwood:** just kick her ass in training

**magnusbane:** u know jace isn't the weak link in all this

**aleclightwood:** ur right

**aleclightwood:** simon, don't fuck this up for us

**simonlewis:** why r u calling me out and not izzy

**izzylightwood:** bc gf or not, i'm not letting clary get my vip privileges revoked

**simonlewis:** fine, but i literally cannot be left alone with her or i'll crack

**maiaroberts:** she literally stabbed u a few weeks ago

**simonlewis:** still...

**jaceherondale:** don't worry, i got ur back

**izzylightwood:** and his front

**jaceherondale:** true ;)

**izzylightwood:** ok, back to the party plans,, is raph gonna be there

**raphaelsantiago:** please don't ever call me that again

**raphaelsantiago:** and no

**magnusbane:** yeah, he hates halloween

**maiaroberts:** don't let clary hear u say that

**raphaelsantiago:** i couldn't care less about what that girl thinks

**aleclightwood:** this is why ur my fav

**magnusbane:** what abt me

**aleclightwood:** ur my favoritest fav

**jaceherondale:** i don't think that's a word buddy

**aleclightwood:** shut up

**jaceherondale:** no

**magnusbane:** u know i could always take severus up on his suggestion abt rainbow hair jace

**simonlewis:** i never suggested that

**magnusbane:** that's a lie

**magnusbane:** and also not the point

**aleclightwood:** again, favoritest fav

**magnusbane:** :)

**jaceherondale:** its only been a few minutes but i'm loving the lack of clary on the gc

**jaceherondale:** u should have done this ages ago

**aleclightwood:** it was a long time coming

**aleclightwood:** also, i'm dead serious abt her being banned til after halloween

**aleclightwood:** i will revoke u all from the vip section if u let her on

**magnusbane:** i love it when u get all bossy

**jaceherondale:** ugh

**aleclightwood:** ,, did u just say ugh to my bf ????????

**simonlewis:** godammit jace, pls don't test him

**simonlewis:** i don't want our vip privileges revoked

**jaceherondale:** what i said wasn't even that mean

**simonlewis:** don't care, be on ur best behavior or i will let magnus turn ur hair into a rainbow

**maiaroberts:** DAMN SIMON

**izzylightwood:** yeah, look who's getting all bossy now

**maiaroberts:** omg, jace is literally speechless

**izzylightwood:** that or he just sent simon a dm

**magnusbane:** my money's on dm

**maiaroberts:** ur prob right

**izzylightwood:** speaking of bossy, i got certain redhead at my door

**aleclightwood:** remember what i said izzy

**izzylightwood:** i'm not getting inbtwn u two and ur so called 'blood feud'

**izzzylightwood:** besides she can't ever stay mad at me for long

**aleclightwood:** ,,right

**magnusbane:** have fun with the little troublemaker

**izzylightwood:** u know it ;)

**izzylightwood:** can't wait til the halloween bash

**maiaroberts:** me either, i'll text u all when i get off my shift that nite

**magnusbane:** wait ur working on halloween nite

**maiaroberts:** only til 11:30

**magnusbane:** perfect, after midnight is when the real fun begins anyway

**maiaroberts:** don't i know it

**maiaroberts:** see u all then

**magnusbane:** later maia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed this chapter! i'm actually working on a fic abt the pandemonium halloween bash they're talking about. it won't be in gc form so i will be posting it separately in a few days, so stayed tuned!


End file.
